The world according to carox

Australian Christian Voices

2011-12-09T02:32:00.008+11:00

At the ALP National Conference last weekend, a decision was made in support of same-sex marriage, with individual members being allowed a conscience vote on the matter. In response to this news, the Australian Christian Lobby predictably came out with a sensational press release (which received broad media coverage) claiming that there would be a full-scale "church revolt" against the Labor Party because of this decision.

I felt my blood pressure rise as once again the ACL was quoted in the popular media, and treated as THE representative of Christians in Australia, when it was spouting rhetoric that was not only far removed from my own views (as an Australian Christian), but also removed from what I believe to be the all-inclusive grace of God; the self-giving love of Christ; and the ongoing, hope-filled presence of the Holy Spirit.

Once again, I ranted on Facebook that:

The ACL does not speak for ME!

Then I started chatting with a couple of colleagues, who were also frustrated that the ACL, with its particular views (that represent a narrow section of the Christian Church in Australia), had claimed a place as the "go-to" organisation whenever the media or politicians are seeking a "Christian viewpoint" on a hot topic. Can't we suggest a more representative group, that would give a more balanced and moderate view?

When asking this question, it became clear that the answer was no. There is no one single group that is truly representative of the whole Christian church, because there is such a diversity and breadth of viewpoints on matters of social and political interest across the church.

So, we set out to raise awareness of this diversity. To shout from the rooftops that the ACL and other such groups do not represent all Christians, because life is more complex than thinking that there could possibly be only one view on important and complex topics. Two of my friends and I started up a group on Facebook called Australian Christian Voices, with an associated public page, as a forum for people who recognise that Christian opinion is more diverse and varied than it is often represented in the media, or society generally. The aim of the group is to promote, and provide space for, the articulation, dissemination, and reception of broader Christian opinion within the media, the body politic, and wider society.

A number of our members (after only a few days, the group's membership is now over 100) sent emails to the Victorian Council of Churches, expressing our frustration with the way groups such as the ACL hijack media attention, and claim to speak for the whole Christian Church. Yesterday, the VCC released a statement which was picked up by some of the media, and especially went wild on Twitter after the ABC retweeted the link to the statement.

I am excited at the possibilities that are unfolding. For a long time I have been fed up with Christians being portrayed in the media as gay-bashing wowsers who are hyper critical, judgemental, and busy looking for things to condemn. I am hopeful that if the media starts recognising that the ACL and groups like it do not speak for all Christians, they might start seeking opinion from other branches of the Church, and instead of negativity, be able to discover and promote God's overwhelming, astounding love that is at the heart of the Christian faith.

Artfull Worship

2011-06-05T17:29:00.006+10:00

In this morning's worship at Myrtleford we had a visit from Christina Rowntree, the Artfull Faith Coordinator from the Uniting Church Centre for Theology and Ministry in Melbourne. A variety of CTM staff participated in worship this morning in a number of congregations across our presbytery, after being up here for an educational event called Wisdom's Feast.

During the week, Christina and I plotted and planned something a little bit different and creative for our worship, which was held in the church hall, inviting people to engage with various works of art, readings and symbols, as we moved through various 'stations' of the worship space.

Station 1 - Gathered around Paschal Candle in entrance to worship space:
Call to Worship and Gathering Prayer, based on Psalm 68:1-10, 32-35.
Song: TIS 111 Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation

Station 2 - Centre of the hall, facing the pulpit, and a screen behind:
A continuous loop of images of art depicting the Ascension was projected onto the screen.
People were given the text of Acts 1:6-14 to read in supported silence (with some gentle background music)
I gave a brief reflection on the reading
Act of confession- seeking forgiveness for looking for Jesus in the wrong places, and failing to see him in ourselves and each other (through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit- see Acts 1:8, 10-11).
Taize chant: Jesus remember me, when you come into your kingdom
As people moved to the next station, they were invited to walk behind the pulpit and look inside it (where there was a mirror), and think of the significance of this- of the pulpit being a place where the Word is proclaimed, and that the Word is not a book, but Christ. Where is the Word/Christ now? What do they see in the pulpit?

Station 3 - 'Suffering and intercession'.
1 Peter 4:12-14, 5:6-11 was read aloud by the Elder. People were invited to gaze upon the image of Picasso's Weeping Woman, and a photograph of the earth taken from space, as they formulated their own prayers for the world, and wrote them on pieces of coloured paper.

Some poems and music were used for inspiration.
When the prayers were written, they were pegged onto the wall, as we sang together the Taize chant: O Lord hear my prayer.

Station 4 - Preparing to go back into the world
Focus on table, covered in white cloth, with many candles, and a print of Chris Neild's Man of Sorrows in front.
Two tapers are lit from the Paschal candle, and as the Elder reads John 17:1-11 (with strategic pauses), each time the word 'glory/glorify' is read, two candles are lit, until all the candles on the table are alight at the end of the reading.

The people are invited to contemplate the question: "What is glory?" as they listen to the reading and gaze on the image and the candles.
A period of very profound silence ensued.

Station 5 - around the Paschal Candle- facing outwards towards the exit
Song - TIS 613 Lord of all hopefulness Lord of all joy
Christina and I pronounced a blessing
Benediction- A Christmas Blessing

Fact or fiction- are they really mutually exclusive?

2011-04-07T23:08:00.006+10:00

A good friend and colleague of mine has been receiving a lot of media attention this week. The Rev Avril Hannah-Jones, the minister of Romsey Uniting Church, is holding a special worship service this Sunday afternoon, promoted as being “Sci-fi and Fantasy Friendly”.

Avril has long been a fan of various science fiction and fantasy books, movies and TV (and in fact, I can blame her for introducing me to the Supernatural TV series. Those Winchester boys really are just too cute for their own good... but I digress... :-). So when she scored an audience ticket to the first episode of the ABC talk show Adam Hills in Gordon St Tonight, she described herself in her audience profile questionnaire as ‘a Sci-fi and fantasy addicted Uniting Church Minister’.

Adam Hills built on this with a humorous film-clip advertising a fictitious ‘Church of Latter Day Geeks’, and it all kind of snowballed from there, and Avril found herself, some weeks later, designing a service of worship that would appeal to those ‘geeks’.

Avril wrote in promoting the service:

“Impressed with the way the Doctor, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter live out Jesus’ teaching, ‘No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends’? Intrigued by the themes of mercy, forgiveness and redemption in Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and the television series Angel? Inspired to do good and resist evil by the example of Peter Parker, the crew of Serenity and the Winchester brothers? Then come to a sci-fi and fantasy-friendly church. You’re welcome to come in a costume of your choice, but blasters, stakes and other weapons will have to be left at the church door.”

I will be attending this service on Sunday afternoon, both because I want to support Avril (as this whole thing has gotten bigger than she ever imagined) and because at a time when media stories about Christians are almost universally bad, here is the chance for a good-news story. A story of a faith community engaging a whole group of people in our society who are often portrayed as weirdos and outcasts.

Of course, not all of the media attention has been positive (see this article in Wednesday's Herald Sun). One accusation, made particularly of fantasy stories, is that they’re escapist. In responding to this, Avril refers to JRR Tolkien, and to Easter:

Writing about fairy tales, Tolkien described them as including a ‘eucatastrophe’, a good catastrophe, the sudden joy that comes in the midst of despair, the moment of unexpected deliverance. The reason, Tolkien argued, that fantasy writers like him are able to offer their readers this consolation of the happy ending is because the Creator has already given it to us.

“The birth of Christ,” he wrote, “is the eucatastrophe of man’s history. The resurrection is the eucatastrophe of the story of the incarnation. This story begins and ends in joy. There is no tale ever told that men would rather find was true, and none which so many sceptical men have accepted as true on its own merits.”

As we continue our journey through Lent, and become conscious of the closeness of Easter, let us look forward with joy and expectation to the ultimate ‘happy ending’ (or ‘eucatastrophe’) on Easter Sunday.

Postscript: Other print/electronic media coverage of this event include:

* An opinion piece written by Avril in the Herald Sun
* The critical article in the Herald Sun (same day)
* A blog post in the Uniting Church's Tasmission Blog
(and of course I'm sure there's more out there in the blogosphere, but these are the main pieces I have seen).

Epiphany 8A- a service of lament

2011-03-04T00:36:00.005+11:00

On Sunday 27th February, in the wake of the horrendous earthquake in Christchurch, I decided that our worship at Beechworth should have a theme of lament, in empathy with our brothers and sisters across the ditch.

I have reproduced here the call to worship and words of our opening hymn, which set the tone for our worship, along with the sermon I preached.

Call to Worship (based on Psalm 131):
The Psalmist cries:
O LORD, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great
and too marvellous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul…

After the events of the week,
we come with heavy hearts and many questions,
as we bring our worship to God.

Hymn: A Touching Place (TIS 677)
Christ's is the world in which we move.
Christ's are the folk we're summoned to love,
Christ's is the voice which calls us to care,
and Christ is the One who meets us here.

To the lost Christ shows his face;
to the unloved He gives His embrace;
to those who cry in pain or disgrace,
Christ, makes, with His friends, a touching place.

Feel for the people we most avoid.
Strange or bereaved or never employed;
Feel for the women, and feel for the men
fear that their living is all in vain.

Feel for the parents who lost their child,
feel for the woman whom men have defiled.
Feel for the baby for whom there's no breast,
and feel for the weary who find no rest.

Feel for the lives by life confused.
Riddled with doubt, in loving abused;
Feel for the lonely heart, conscious of sin,
which longs to be pure but fears to begin.
(words by John Bell)

Sermon - Matthew 6:24-34
I often scratch my head in awe at God’s sense of timing. For example, in the lead up to last Sunday, there was a pastoral matter involving conflict between two parties in one of my congregations. When we came to the Gospel reading for last Sunday, there were Jesus’ words: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”. Rather fitting really.

It appears that God’s done it again this week. After being dumbstruck and reduced to tears as we watched the news coverage of the Christchurch earthquake, we now read Jesus’ words: “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink… your heavenly father knows you need all these things. Strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

These words of Jesus, telling his listeners not to worry, but rather trust in God and seek the kingdom, can sometimes become almost a cliché to us. We hear them quoted, often almost frivolously and without much thought.

As we think about these words, it’s important to consider their context. In Jesus’ day, the society of Galilee and the general area could sustain a movement where its members turned up in towns or villages expecting to find board, lodging and hospitality, because the community at large was not so poverty-stricken that travellers wouldn’t be looked after. Looking around the society, Jesus’ followers could see that there was enough resource and goodwill to clothe them like the lilies of the field and feed them like the birds.

However, we all know situations where this doesn’t work; where without outside intervention people shrivel in starvation and face exposure and death through lack of shelter. So, simply transferring Jesus’ words into sites of famine or disaster is at best naïve, and at worst grossly irresponsible.

I am torn when I read the words: “Do not worry about your life”.

Part of me wants to believe, and take comfort in the belief, that God is in control, and God knows what he’s doing. In fact many people do believe this- so much so that they have almost a blinkered faith, never questioning, as if they never see the world around them.

BUT when I see the bloody suppression of the protests in Libya by Colonel Gadaffi, where we saw the Libyan military firing on their own citizens, or the tragic loss of life and so much more around Christchurch after last week’s earthquake, I can’t help but ask: “Where is God in all this?” or even, “IS there a God in all this?” (as I’m sure many people around the world are asking now).

This morning, the Hornby-Riccarton Methodist Parish in Christchurch will be grieving as they mourn the loss of their beloved organist, who was assisting a team to remove an organ from an historic church in the central city, that was damaged back in the September earthquake. Their minister said, “We are all numb and sad and struggling to accept the reality of the situation. Please keep praying for us.”

A comment was made in one of the newscasts during the week that the nature of the Christchurch community is such that everyone will know someone who was killed or injured. No one in the city is untouched by this horrific event. It reminds me of the Port Arthur massacre back in the 90s when I was living in Hobart. Everyone in Hobart seemed to know someone who was at Port Arthur that day, or someone involved in the response to the massacre. The nature of a small city is that there is a close-knit community, so that when something of this magnitude happens, everyone is affected.

Earlier in the service, we listened to the song Don’t Worry, Be Happy. Somehow I suspect the words ‘don’t worry be happy’ won’t quite cut it for these people. To say, “don’t worry, God is in control” would be hard for the people of Christchurch to hear right now- even those who are people of faith.

So how do we cope with a situation like this?

A few weeks ago, I shared a prayer of lament that was written by the Secretary of the Central Queensland Presbytery in response to the recent floods. There is a long history of lament in the Judaeo-Christian tradition. In fact lament is a good, acceptable and normal part of our worship. Just look at the book of Psalms – there are many psalms of lament, and interestingly many of these start out with the psalmist beating his breast, proclaiming doom and gloom and questioning God, but by the end of the psalm the tone has turned to praise and recognition of a loving, merciful God being in control.

Because we’re human, we have emotions, and are affected by things around us; and it is right and proper and necessary for us to express our feelings. Because of this, when something tragic or traumatic happens, we need to lament and grieve before we are able to rejoice and ‘not worry’.

So, where is God in our lament?
According to German theologian Jurgen Moltmann, God is right there with us in the thick of our lament. In his book The Crucified God, Moltmann describes Christ as ‘our divine brother in suffering’. We know from reading the gospels that Jesus suffered on the cross and experienced the full gamut of human suffering, but Moltmann goes further, asserting that when bad things happen to God’s children it is God’s heart that is the first to break. God the Father is not immune to our suffering.

So, if God is love, if God is all powerful, why are bad things -like these natural disasters of cyclones, floods, bushfires, earthquakes- allowed to happen? “It’s not fair!” we cry.

Psalm 23 is a popular text for funerals (I have certainly preached on it many times!) because it speaks to the situation of desolation and despair. The psalmist speaks of walking through the valley of the shadow of death, or the valley of deepest darkness- a place that the people of Christchurch would be familiar with right now. Whenever I preach on Psalm 23 I always share this wisdom from Rabbi Harold Kushner. In the book he wrote on the 23rd Psalm he says:

“God’s promise was never that life would be fair. God’s promise was that, when we had to confront the unfairness of life, we would not have to do it alone, for He would be with us.”

This is the message of hope for us today from the Gospel- do not worry – because no matter what comes, God will be with us- lamenting with us, crying with us and comforting us. May that be so for all who suffer today.

Up until recently...

2011-02-19T23:18:00.004+11:00

A very good friend of mine, who also happens to be a muso, has just released a new album.

The friend is Mark Robinson, and the album is called Up Until Recently.

His songs are quite deep, and honest in a raw kind of way; and talk about emotions and experiences that most of us can relate to. Through the songs, a strong theme of yearning to be loved, and to connect with other people and with God comes through, because this has been Mark's journey.

Rod Boucher reviewed the album in these words:

Delicate reflecting with crack - like a slap across my face with a velvet glove on a steel hand. Intimate punch - a whisper in my ear like the roar of Aslan the lion. There's space to sup the sounds, crunch to tap and nod, smesh to surround and wrap and just a smidgeon of techno whistling to the family dog in all of us. Friendly, concerned, passionate, personal and wonderfully played, sung and recorded. I love it all and so would Elvis Costello. Lyric, acoustic yet explosive rock.

Mark's website contains links to sound samples and lyrics for all the songs. A minister colleague suggested that the lyrics of the songs would be really useful for people working with youth.

The album is available for purchase/download from iTunes, CDBaby and Amazon.com. CDs will also soon be available- check the website for details. Do yourself a favour and have a listen.

Sermon from 13 Feb 2011 - Matthew 5:21-37

2011-02-15T15:19:00.004+11:00

Hate... lust... divorce... swearing...
We've got it all, folks!

Today's Gospel is a hard reading to preach on; so much so that I was tempted to preach on one of the other readings from this week's lectionary, but then realised that they're no easier!

As a preacher, it's easy for me to bring my own prejudices, my own 'slant', or the idea that I know the passage, having read it or preached from it before. In fact, I was recently talking to a friend who came back to the faith after wandering in the wilderness for some years, and he asked me: "I've only just started reading my Bible seriously in the past year or so. I presume you have continued to read yours all these years- so how do you not get arrogant, and feel that you know it all?"

I remember advice I was given in preaching classes at Theological College: before I, as a preacher, can have anything of substance to offer you, as listeners, I must have wrestled with the reading, really struggled with it, so that I'm not just reiterating stuff that I already know (or think I know).

Now I have a confession to make- I don't do this as often, or as thoroughly, as I'd like to. Sometimes I borrow ideas from others, sometimes I rely on what I already know (or think I know). Perhaps the observant among you will be able to tell when I have genuinely struggled or grappled with the text by the passion, rawness, freshness of my preaching? (something for you to look out for in the future). Of course the acid test will come at the end of this year, when I have worked my way through the full 3 year Revised Common Lectionary cycle with you, and the temptation will be strong for me to 'recycle' bits from 3 years ago- not necessarily reproducing whole sermons or worship liturgies holus bolus, but rather preaching the same ideas and understandings I had three years before.

This has been a slightly long-winded introduction, basically to tell you that I found this passage hard word to come to terms with, and to find ways to use it as a vehicle to bring you some 'Good News' (which is what the Gospel is about, after all).

We know that Jesus is a good preacher, and there is bountiful evidence of this in his most famous sermon, found in Matthew chapter 5, the Sermon on the Mount. He starts off with the Beatitudes, a series of blessings pronounced on his audience, after which they are no doubt feeling all warm and fuzzy. Then he moves onto some encouragement and exhortation (which we heard last week): "you are the salt of the earth... you are the light of the world", and then in the passage before us today, he gives some harder moral teachings. It's almost as if he starts off slowly, and softly, and works his way up to the hard stuff. So let's explore what this passage has to say to us today.

It's a common belief in the Christian Church that the New Testament 'supercedes' the Old Testament, and somehow even negates it. The apostle Paul's writings about 'grace vs. law' are often used to support this argument. The four examples of "you have heard it said that.... but I say..." are sometimes referred to as 'antitheses', because Jesus seems to be comparing and contrasting the legalism of the Old Testament wiht the new, higher righteousness of his own teachings.

However, I think that in this passage, and in fact, in the Sermon on the Mount as a whole, rather than negating the existing law, Jesus' teachings are actually in theological continuity with the law.

Jesus speaks a lot throughout his ministry about the Kingdom of God, or the Kingdom of Heaven, and how it is 'at hand' as he begins his ministry. The Sermon on the Mount, and especially this part of it, invites us, the readers, to live as if the Kingdom of God is fully present.

In the 4 examples Jesus talks about here he raises the bar for our behaviour:

1. "You have heard it said 'you shall not murder', but I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister you will be liable"
2. "You have heard it said, 'you shall not commit adultery', but I say that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart"
3. Jesus setting stronger conditions on divorce
4. "It has been said, 'you shall not swear falsely', but I say do not swear at all- let your yes be yes and your no no".

It is easy to look at these and wring our hands in despair. How can I possibly live up to these? Jesus has taken moral standards that are already difficult to live up to, raised the bar and made them even harder to keep.

However, rather than just giving us more difficult hoops to jump through, I think it's more a case of Jesus seeking integrity, consistency in living out our faith at all levels; not just in what we do, but in how we think- this reaches beyond our mere actions into the very core of our being. Not just our public actions, but also our private thoughts, emotions, desires need to be brought into line with Kingdom values.

Well may we ask, 'why is Jesus concerned with our thought life?'
There's an old Chinese proverb that says:
Sow a thought... reap an action.
Sow an action... reap a habit.
Sow a habit... reap a character.
Sow a character... reap a destiny.

Our inner world does influence our outer world, and what starts with an errant thought or desire, if allowed to take control of us, can lead to devastating results.

Also, you might notice, that in the 4 examples given by Jesus: murder/ anger, adultery/lust, divorce and being true to one's word, there is a common thread. All of these deal with broken relationship from the perspective of the Kingdom. Why is this a problem? Well, it's God's intention for people to live in mutual relationship and support, that's what community, at its best, is about.

Yesterday, I officiated at my first wedding. When I confessed this to the couple at our first meeting, they looked at each other, giggled, and said, "That's ok, it's our first wedding too!" It was certainly a special occasion for all present. In the marriage service, there is a recognition that although it is only two people up the front making promises to each other, the reality is that a marriage doesn't only involve two people, but needs a whole community of support- from family and friends- to help the couple to honour their marriage vows.

Jesus is saying here that we need to be vigilant in maintaining our relationships, and not let festering anger, or lust, or anything else destroy them. We need to watch out for 'the thin edge of the wedge' in how we relate to others. 'Playful insults' can all too easily descend into bitterness and vitriol which poisons a relationship- resulting in the loss of Kingdom possibilities in that moment.

You may have noticed that I have been speaking fairly generally, and have not gone into detail on any of these four examples. There's an awful lot that could be said about this passage, and about each of those 4 things (so this means that I'll have plenty of material to work with next time this passage comes up in the Lectionary!). But before I finish, I do want to speak about one of the specifics.

This passage is often used to bash people who have suffered through the painful experience of divorce. Even reading this passage in church is challenging pastorally, as statistics tell us that about 50% of marriages today end in divorce.

When the idea of divorce was introduced in the Old Testament, there was the expectation that marriage should last for life; 'till death us do part'. However, God in mercy introduced an 'escape' because God recognised that humans are imperfect and frail, and 'hard-hearted' and so sometimes it's just not possible to make a marriage work. I think the process for divorce in Hebrew law was fairly simple, the man (because it's always the man in that culture who needs to take the lead) had to say to his wife, "I divorce you" three times, give her a certificate of divorce, and it was done. Maybe by Jesus' time, divorce was seen as a too easy option, and so he uses his words here to underline the seriousness of the marriage covenant, warning people not to enter into it lightly- or leave it lightly.

The text presumes that the marriage relationship can be shaped by the presence of the Kingdom. But it seems to me, that in some marriage relationships the dynamics of the relationship are Kingdom-resistant; and that the purposes of the Kingdom might better be served by freeing the couple to live into other relationships.

As you can see, there's a lot in this passage to wrestle with, and I've really only scratched the surface, plucking out a few ideas and leaving plenty for the next time this passage crops up in the Lectionary.

So that leaves us with the question: what is the good news from this passage? In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus calls us to a higher standard of conduct, in thought, word and deed. However, we are not bound to be slaves of the Law, or required to follow the letter of the Law in order to secure our salvation. Rather, we are invited to respond to God's goodness and grace to us by striving to surpass the law, not only out of duty, but out of love and gratefulness to God.

It's a bit like when you're at uni, you can still get your degree if you only ever get Pass grades, but there's a certain satisfaction in aiming a bit higher, to get a Credit, Distinction or HD- maybe because you love the subject, or maybe because you just want to do the best that you possibly can.

In life, why settle for mediocrity, when we can aim much higher? And the good news is that just as he set the bar higher for us to aim for, Jesus also provides the strength and support for us as we aim for that higher goal.
Thanks be to God.

It's a GODSEND!

2010-11-03T17:24:00.004+11:00

Earlier this year, a very talented young friend of mine, Paddy Macrae, visited Yackandandah with a film crew to shoot various location footage for the final project in his uni degree in filmmaking. Paddy and his crew camped for a few nights in our church hall (which in itself qualifies them for a medal, I think!) and spent their days at various locations around the town, shooting scenes for Paddy's half-hour TV pilot, called GODSEND.

Well, the post-production work is now complete, and Paddy has started promoting GODSEND TV Pilot on Facebook, and I am very excited that GODSEND will be screened in Yackandandah on Saturday November 13th (in the Uniting Church Hall, so Paddy and his team will be able to use the "we suffered for our art, and now it's your turn" line :-)

Can't wait to see the finished product!

Milestone :-)

2010-10-12T00:11:00.004+11:00

Today I had a rather good piano lesson. Jenny, my teacher, was very pleased with my progress, and the way I had mastered most of the pieces she had given me to play with last week. (She said that my 'Cops and Robbers' was especially sparkly! :-)

So today, marked a milestone in my piano lessons, where I moved from Bastien Piano Basics Book 1, into the more complex territory of Bastien Piano Basics Book 2 (the blue book, for those of you, who like a certain friend of mine, can remember learning from these books as a child! :-P)

I'm still really enjoying my lessons, and can see the progress I'm making in lots of ways, and I'm still working at practising - of course having the piano in the lounge room has really helped with this, as often I find myself tickling the ivories late at night, which I wouldn't be able to do if I had to go to the church to use the piano there.

Taste and see...

2010-10-07T16:51:00.004+11:00

On Mon-Wed this week, I attended our Presbytery Retreat, at Feathertop Chalet in Harrietville. There were about 20 people from around the Presbytery, most of us ministers, but also a few spouses and other lay people who came along for the journey.

The theme of the retreat was "Taste and See", and we got to do that both metaphorically, through the wonderful guided reflections facilitated by Rev. Joan Wright-Howie from the CTM, and also literally, thanks to the great food provided by the lovely Janette Smith.

In our first session, Joan gave us all a white porcelain plate and a lump of modelling clay, and asked us to use the clay to help us reflect on 'what's on my plate?'. In our introductions, we all said that we had come ot the retreats out of times of busy-ness or stress, and so it was good to find a creative way to represent all the things we had 'on our plates', both from church, and other sources.

At various times during the retreat, we came back to our plates, as a focus for reflection; at one stage removing the things we would like to have 'off our plates', or things that we could remove, and then, with empty (or near-empty) plates, reflecting on the questions: "What do I long to have on my plate?" and, "What is God's longing for me to have on my plate?"

At the end of the retreat, we totally cleaned off the plate, and used enamel paints to represent our responses to these two questions on the plate. It was great to be a little bit creative, especially for those of us who are not artists, and as we later shared our plates, and what they represented, in the group, there were some very special moments. Here is my plate (click on the image to enlarge for detail).

In addition to the plates, throughout the retreat, there were various art supplies available for us to use in any of our silent sessions, in order to express our responses to the prayer exercises that we had been doing, or the Scriptures we had been reflecting on.

In one of the early sessions, I chose 2 Cor 11:26-28 as my focus passage (from three suggestions, I didn't just pluck it out of the air), and after spending some time in a Lectio Divina style of prayer reflection on the verses, I tried to express some of my feeling response to the passage using coloured pencils and construction paper. Here is the result.

In another session, following the theme of tasting, eating, hungering, I used pastels to represent my response to the question, "what are you hungering for?"

In yet another session, I spent some time reflecting on the acrostic Psalm 34 (ie in the original Hebrew, each verse of the Psalm commences with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet, in order, from the beginning). Joan had given us a number of translations of this psalm, from various books, some of which were actually written in English in acrostic form.

The version that caught my eye, though, was one that was written in the traditional church chant style, with a communal response that was to be said between each of the verses (the response not actually being part of the psalm). The response in this psalm was:

With the strings that are taut with pain
compose new music of joy.

In a way I find really hard to explain, those words just took my breath away. After a week that was probably one of the most physically busy and emotionally exhausting that I'd experienced for a long time, but in which there was also a very strong sense of God's presence and the joy of God's spirit buoying me up (see my previous entry), these words really spoke to me about how to endure the hard times (not only for me personally, but as a ministry tool to assist others).

So, all in all, the retreat was a pretty special time, and very welcome refreshment to my soul.

The observant among you, dear readers, will probably note a theme coming through in the artwork that I created during the retreat- lots of swirls and bold, sweeping strokes/lines.

At some stage, when I get the chance, I will post a separate entry to explain the symbolism of my plate, which might help you to understand where my head and hand were at in creating these designs.

A sense of lightness

2010-10-03T20:19:00.004+11:00

... and that's not only because Daylight Savings started this morning (but I must say that it was rather splendid to still have bright sunshine after 6:30pm this evening! :-)

Today marks the end of a very busy and emotionally draining week. Some of the adventures I had included an aged care service, an afternoon at the prison, a funeral in the church and subsequent burial for a man who died by suicide, and a graveside service for the interment of ashes of a woman whose family dynamics were complicated to say the least, as well as the 'normal' Sunday morning worship (and of course all of the preparation for these events. I worked out that for the interment of ashes service, I would have spent almost 10 hours on all of the pastoral visits, phone calls, travel, preparation and the service itself- and lots of prayer!)

I'm very relieved that it's all over, and the stress and responsibility, especially of the two funeral-type services, is now past. However, I can't help but feel a sense of awe. Firstly because it's always an incredible privilege to share part of the journey with folks who are raw and vulnerable in their grief. It's a very precious and sacred space to be in, and I never take this privilege lightly.

But more than this, I was also very conscious of the Spirit's guidance and presence, buoying me up through it all. At various times during the week I felt physically and emotionally exhausted, at times forgetting what day it was, because so much was happening on so many different fronts. However, at these two services, there was a sense of God's presence and mercy in it all, as I struggled to find the right words to bring comfort and hope to people mourning a sudden and unexpected death at one service, and aiming to provide a respectful and dignified farewell to a woman, in the presence of her extended family, most of whom weren't able to make it to a memorial service held earlier.

In both cases, there was the possibility of things getting out of my control (through the contributions of others), but on the day, I was conscious of a sense of calm, as if God's Spirit was hovering over us all, like a warm blanket, smothering any potential flames.

I received heartfelt thanks from the families in both cases, and also some positive feedback from others, and I am happy with how things went in both instances, and give thanks to God for the strength to get through it all on the coat-tails of his grace :-)

Tiptoe through the minefields...

2010-09-24T16:50:00.004+10:00

Today I had two pastoral visits relating to 'funerals' (or more precisely, one was for a funeral and burial, and the other was for an interment of ashes, which will need to include elements of a funeral, given that the earlier 'memorial service' was apparently a little lacking in some elements of pastoral 'farewell' ritual).

The funeral service and burial are for a man who tragically took his own life, and his family and friends are still in shock, and trying to come to terms with not only the fact that he killed himself, but also the method he chose.

The interment of ashes is for a woman whose daughters don't get on with her (second) husband. I therefore spent over two hours today with the woman's brother and sister-in-law getting the gist of family politics, and working with them on a strategy to (hopefully) ensure that proceedings are beneficial and pastoral for all concerned, and to find a creative way for the daughters and husband to be involved in the ritual in appropriate ways, without anyone feeling sidelined or disenfranchised.

I think we managed to work something out, and now wait to see if the other parties agree to our suggestions.

I suspect that this might be one of the trickiest pastoral situations that I've had to deal with to date, but as always, am very grateful to God for the privilege of journeying with people in their grief and pain at such times, and pray that I might be able to help pour some oil on the troubled waters of these difficult relationships.

All of that, and I got to drive over 100km today, on a most magnificently sparkling spring day, in one of the most beautiful parts of the world! Have I mentioned recently how much I love my job? :-)

Well, I never!

2010-09-22T22:48:00.003+10:00

Warning: the subject matter of this blog entry involves extremely poor taste, so don't read if you're easily offended!

This afternoon, I felt very pleased with myself that as I pulled up to the Aussie Post mail box at the end of my street to post a letter, just on 4pm, that I got there just as the Aussie Post man arrived to clear it, so my letter just made it into tonight's mail (yay).

However, after I returned to my car, getting ready to take off to Wangaratta for a pastoral visit, I noticed that, as the fellow (who, not unlike myself, was rather generously proportioned) bent down to open up the mailbox, he exposed to the world (and to my unsuspecting eyes) a more than normally over-generous "tradesman's crack". In fact, I wouldn't call it a mere crack, but rather a good half of both his buttocks were exposed quite blatantly- so much so, that I could see that he was wearing some kind of G-string.

(If you are currently gagging, and going, "EEWWWW!!!", don't say I didn't warn you!)

I was rather gobsmacked, having never seen such a display in such a context before, and like a train wreck, whilst I knew that decency dictates that I should look look away, I just could not.

Fortunately, after a bit of a struggle, he finally managed to empty the mailbox, close it up, and then straighten up, so that his shirt once again covered his buttocks (because his shorts sure didn't!), and the train-wreck spell was broken (along with my brain), so I was finally able to start my car and drive away.

The mental image was kind of burned into my brain for a bit, but I was glad of a lovely spring afternoon which made for a pleasant drive to Wang, with some good music keeping me company on the car stereo, to soothe me along the way.

Phew!

2010-09-14T22:03:00.002+10:00

The weekend just past was pretty full-on. The choir I sing with, the Beechworth Singers, was part of a special 'Three Choirs Festival' (working with the Wangaratta Choristers and Murray Conservatorium Choir) to present two performances of Orff's Carmina Burana, Bernstein's Chichester Psalms and Handel's Zadok the Priest. We had one performance on Saturday afternoon in Wangaratta, and the second on Sunday afternoon in Wodonga.

The music was fabulous. I love Carmina- it's such a great yell ;-), and whilst I strugged initially with the Bernstein, it did grow on me; so much so that now I would swoon as I tell you how gorgeous it is.

My weekend was pretty much consumed by the Three Choirs things, with a rehearsal in Wang on Sat morning from 10am to 12noon, with a break for lunch, then the performance at 2:30pm. After this I had the chance to catch up with an Anglican colleague who had been based in Beechworth for a while, and who is now in Wang, and we enjoyed a very decadent dinner together at Rinaldi's (which he tells me is the place to eat in Wangaratta). After this, I went home and put some finishing touches on my sermon for the next morning.

Sunday started out as a normal Sunday, with worship in Beechworth and Yackandandah. For various reasons, I was running a little late in getting to Beechworth, so they started without me (maybe I should have just left them to it! :-). Now my normal routine on a Sunday afternoon on this side of my ministry patch is to put my feet up and have a bit of a nanna nap after lunch, but this was not to be this week!

I had to hot-foot it to Wodonga straight after worship at Yack (although I did stop at Maccas for some lunch en route to the Civic Centre). We had a warm up, and then the second performance (which went even better than Saturday's, and had a slightly larger audience, it seemed). By the time the concert was over, I was whacked, but had to make a stop in Yack on my way home for a pastoral visit to plan a funeral I will be conducting on Friday.

So, after heading out on Sunday before 9am, I arrived home around 7pm; tired but happy. It was a great weekend, but I was sure glad that I had a day off on Monday to recover (and have to confess to having a bit of an afternoon doze in front of the TV in the recliner of comfyness).

Latest email update

2010-09-08T18:18:00.003+10:00

On Tuesday I sent out a well overdue news update (which was titled the Special "I have not been flooded" edition).

Executive Summary (more detail below)

* Floods! – As most of Victoria is experiencing floods at the moment, and I understand that Myrtleford has even featured in the news, I want to reassure all my friends that I am ok and the water hasn’t come anywhere near my place, and the town has so far come through things relatively unscathed. We have a number of roads out of town closed, including the Great Alpine Rd heading towards Wangaratta, but from what I’ve heard only a very few people have been required to evacuate their homes.

* Ordination and Induction – Gosh, it has been ages since I’ve been in touch. I was ordained as a Minister of the Word at Sandy Bay Uniting Church (my ‘home’ congregation) on Saturday, April 24, and then was formally inducted into the placement where I had been serving for the previous 15 months or so on Saturday, June 5, at Beechworth.

* The Piano! – I made a new year’s resolution to start learning the piano this year, and so I have now been learning for about 6 months, under the eagle eye of my next-door neighbour. As a kind of ordination gift to myself, I bought myself a pre-loved piano, which now sits very happily in my lounge room.

* Ministry – After being here now for around 18 months, it finally feels like I’m settled in and am starting to get to know people and places, and feel a bit like a local.

The Gory Details
(for those of you who want it all… make a cuppa, put your feet up, and enjoy :-)

* Floods! – I have been touched by the number of people who have called, texted or emailed to express concern and see how I’m going. It’s really great to feel a part of a wider network of people in the wider church, who care in such simple but significant ways. It seems that the media have been depicting the situation in Myrtleford as being a ‘disaster’, which is far from the truth. Myrtleford has had relatively little real damage, and whilst a number of roads are closed due to water, and some places on the river side of the main road have been affected by the flood waters, the reality is, that it’s business as usual for most of Myrtleford.

I was slightly alarmed to receive an ‘evacuate to higher ground now’ message at 11pm on Sat, but this didn’t turn out to be necessary, as my place is far enough from the river to have been safe so far. (and the venue people were told to evacuate to is only across the road from my place, so I think I’m safe). I was grateful, however, for a visit from my next door neighbour at midnight who called in to check that I was ok, and reassure me that there was no need to evacuate.

On Sunday I was still high and dry, but there was evidence around town of the floods, in closed roads, and a smaller than usual congregation at church, as some folks couldn’t get into town due to water on the roads. There have also been some properties flooded on the opposite side of the river to the main part of town (and of course, these are the impressive ‘flood shots’ that have made it into the newspapers, and caused TV newscasters to say inaccurate and untrue things like “in Myrtleford most of the town is underwater”.)

I included photos that I took on Sunday afternoon when I went for a wander around town in a previous blog post, but the bottom line is that I am ok, and so far have not had any calls for pastoral assistance yet (although today I did receive a notice from the Victorian Emergency Chaplaincy Network that they may need to deploy chaplains to some areas, so I am on alert to respond to that).

* Ordination and Induction – It seems like so long ago now, but after much anticipation (and close to 7 years of discernment, preparation, study and ministry practice), I was finally ordained as a Minister of the Word in April. It was great to have so many people present on the day who had shared in so many different parts of my life over the years. Following the ordination, I had two weeks’ holiday around Tas, and enjoyed catching up with various friends in Hobart, Poatina, Launceston and Deloraine. It was a great time, and very relaxing after a busy beginning of the year. And even now, months later, I still think it’s funny when people call me Reverend.

Because of the vagaries of the intern phase, and to maintain the polity of the Uniting Church, it was necessary for me to be formally inducted (as an ordained minister) into my current placement, and this happened in Beechworth in June. It was great to have members of the Beechworth Singers (the choir I sing with) singing an item in the service. It was also rather historic, as the only induction service I will ever have where I will already know what I am letting myself in for.

* The Piano! – I’ve really been enjoying learning to play the piano this year. My next door neighbour, Jenny, is a music teacher, and has taken me on as a student, and I have been going great guns. Getting my own piano has made it much easier and more enjoyable to practise (and lack of close neighbours means I can thump out my scales at any hour of the day or night without worrying about being anti-social). The piano is a beautiful little pre-loved Kawai, that is about 20-30 years old (the info I was able to find on the internet said that this model was manufactured during the 1980s), and in excellent condition. The cabinet is black and shiny, and looks brand new, and it has a lovely sound, and is delightful to play.

I also made my public performance ‘debut’ last Friday night, at a musical evening organised by some folks from Beechworth church. So, in front of an audience of about 25 people (which included half a dozen or so really good pianists) I took my courage in hand and played two small pieces from my “Bastien Piano Basics, Book 1”. Needless to say, my offerings were not the most musically satisfying pieces of the evening, but they were mercifully brief :-). And of course, even though I had both pieces note-perfect at home when I practised and practised them, I did make a few mistakes, and fluffed some notes when I got in front of an audience. Talk about nerve-wracking! But people were generally very positive and affirming that I was brave enough to have a go.

* Ministry – Well, I continue to settle into the life of a country minister (and am feeling more and more like my alter-ego, the Vicar of Dibley- sometimes more than others! :-). I have found that as far as pastoral services go, I have conducted MANY funerals (a total of 15 in the 18mths since I arrived), only one baptism (although a second is coming up later this month, with the promise of two more in the not too distant future) and no weddings as yet.

I’ve also noticed over winter that the colder weather seems to be the busy season for funerals, as I guess older and less well people don’t cope quite so well with the colder weather (esp as we had a REAL winter this year, which I’m told is normal, unlike the milder conditions of last winter). I have also had the privilege of sitting by the bedside of a number of dying people, having been called in by the aged care facility to provide pastoral care for the resident and their families. It’s a great privilege to be there at this very significant time, even if the person is not able to communicate very well, but I am confident that they are aware of my presence, as I can detect responses in the changes to their breathing or facial expressions.

I am being very well supported by great teams of lay leaders on both sides of my ministry patch, and am working to help build these folk up in their skills and confidence to fulfil their roles as leaders of their congregations.

I have also ventured into a new area, of prison chaplaincy, with some initial visits to Beechworth correctional facility (under the guidance of the UCA prison chaplain coordinator). Last week I had my official security orientation and photo taken for my security pass, so soon I will be flying solo in the prison for the equivalent of 3hrs/week.

So, in general, things are going swimmingly, and I am still loving my ministry here in the lovely north east of the state.

* Bits and Pieces - In other news, I am looking forward to another trip to the Benedictine Community of New Norcia in WA in November (as a combination of R&R after the Beechworth Celtic Pilgrimage, and some study leave- so much theology to read, so little time!). I can’t wait to get back to the peace and quiet of New Norcia and catch up with the monks there and enjoy some time with them in their peaceful routine of prayer, work and rest.

Also, I am in the process of applying for a passport (my first one ever!) as Mum and I are going on an 11 day holiday to New Zealand in Dec/Jan. It will be the first time ‘overseas’ for both of us, so I thought I would start off gently, and gradually build up to going farther afield. (I have a friend from Melb who recently moved to the south of France, so I am hoping to get to visit him and his partner at some stage in the not too distant future too).

Well, I think that’s enough for you to digest now. I hope this finds you well and happy, and do let me know how you’re getting on, I do love receiving letters, emails etc.

Love and best wishes, Caroxxoo

Where is Noah when you need him?

2010-09-05T19:06:00.005+10:00

This weekend, much of Victoria has been hit with wild weather, lots of rain, wind, and parts of the state have been flooded, including the north-east. Yesterday morning (Sat) I received an emergency message from the SES via text and landline message warning that the whole Ovens River catchment (in which Myrtleford is located) was on flood alert.

OK... so that made up my mind about NOT driving to Kyneton on Sun afternoon for a meeting on Monday. After that, the day passed like a fairly normal Saturday, with me pottering around, getting ready for Sunday worship, and then in the late evening (11pm, to be precise) I received another SMS from the SES, with instructions to "evacuate to high ground now". GREAT....

So I did all the right things, filled up some containers with water, in case the worst came to the worst, and gathered together all the bits and pieces I needed for an emergency, (torch, chocolate, bottle of gin, you know the kind of thing :-) just in case... and then checked out the Bureau Of Meteorology website to see what it had to say about flood warnings in this area. At this point I wasn't really alarmed, as my house is not particularly close to the river, and according to the BOM, the flood level was only at about 3.6m and steady, so I figured I would be ok.

Around midnight, I had a visit from my next door neighbour, who said he saw my light on, and wanted to check I was ok, and to reassure me that if I heard his car leaving it was NOT because he and the family were evacuating and leaving me behind, but rather that he was off to check on another friend who lived close to the river, to see if he needed help with anything. So he also reassured me that, since the SES had advised people in the town to evacuate to the senior citizens' hall (which is across the road from our houses), he figured that we would be pretty safe.

This morning I awoke to discover that I was still here, and had not floated away (and that my bed had not become a water bed overnight). However, there was a significant amount of water over many roads in town and just out of town, resulting in some people from church not being able to get into town for worship this morning (and boy, was I grateful that I only had to get to Myrtleford this morning for worship!)

This afternoon I had to go to a meeting in Beechworth, but as the Great Alpine Road heading towards Wangaratta was closed, I ended up going to Beechworth via Yackandandah (after I stopped laughing at the SES guy who suggested I go via Stanley. That road is scary enough in good conditions- no way was I going to risk it today!). The round trip was about 70-80km out of my way, but I got there and back in one piece, so I didn't really mind.

This afternoon, I took my camera out and about in town, and took some photos of the flooded roads etc (can't be bothered captioning them- check my Facebook profile, or ask me if you want more details). Enjoy! :-)

My debut as a pianist!

2010-09-03T23:22:00.004+10:00

Tonight we had a 'musical evening' in the home of a couple from Beechworth. About 25 people attended, many of whom contributed to the evening's entertainment by playing the piano, clarinet, mouth organ or singing, and a great time was had by all.

With the encouragement of my piano teacher, I tentatively put my hand up to play a couple of pieces that I have been learning (both from Bastien Piano Basics, Book 1, so we're talking very simple here, folks).

I introduced my pieces by explaining that I have been learning piano for about 5-6 months, and so am still a beginner, but figured that if I waited till I was really good before playing in front of other people, we would all be waiting a long time indeed!

So, with my courage in hand, I sat down to play my two little pieces, and even though I had them perfect in practice at home, I did make a few mistakes; fluffing a few notes, and failing to observe the dynamics and phrasing as well as I had at home. But all in all, it went down well, and people commented on how well I'm going after learning for such a short time (and how gutsy it was for me to have a go in front of an audience that contained about half a dozen REALLY good pianists. When one of these said he needed a partner to play a duet with him, my enthusiastically tongue-in-cheek offer to do it brought the house down :-)

So, I can now say I have made my public performance debut on the piano, and as Margaret and Joe are planning to host these events on a regular basis, they said they look forward to tracking my progress, as I present different and more complex pieces over time.

Some days are diamonds

2010-08-28T21:14:00.005+10:00

... and today was definitely worth quite a few carats.

Because tomorrow is a Sunday off for me, today was a leisurely Saturday, without the pressure of last minute preparations for Sunday worship. It also just so happened that the boys from Suade were in this neck of the woods, leading a community vocal workshop in Yackandandah this morning.

I knew, as I broke out of the grey sky and dreary, foggy mists into blue sky and bright, sparkly sunshine, about half way along the road to Yack, that this was going to be a good day.

The workshop was a lot of fun. I'd never seen Suade perform live before, so it was great to be there as they shared a couple of songs with the group, as well as getting us moving, singing and workshopping our own little song (the documentary evidence of which will eventually find its way onto Suade's YouTube channel).

After a pleasant lunch, and a quick catch up with some of the locals in the main street, I tootled out to Yamaroo (the local aged care hostel) for a theological discussion group. We are currently reading Val Webb's book, Like Catching Water in a Net, and discussing a couple of chapters at a time. Today's discussion covered topics ranging from the spirit of God (incorporating a quick look at trinitarian theology and some of the heresies relating to this), to ways of knowing God (or not) through nature; then we put the kettle on, and got off the book and onto other topics, like the state of Australian politics, various family dramas, interesting TV shows (mostly relating to the recent election coverage), just to name a few.

I love meeting with these three women; together we are quite an eclectic group, so our discussion is never dull or predictable. As we grapple together with questions of meaning and theology, I am reminded of why I loved studying Systematic Theology so much when I was at theological college.

The process of deliberately engaging one's intellect with one's faith is not easy, but is somehow envigorating and exciting, so I left Yack today with a definite spring in my step, and a song in my heart (perhaps left over from this morning's workshop).

I know I've said this before, but...

2010-08-15T23:42:00.008+10:00

Sometimes God's sense of timing and making things hang together is truly amazing and unexpected.

Today in worship, I preached on the Gospel passage (Luke 12:49-56), borrowing very heavily from the excellent sermon on Bruce Prewer's site for this week. The main thrust was when Jesus said that he came not to bring peace, but division, it meant that Jesus' followers are therefore not promised an easy life.

Prewer's tack, which I followed, spoke of 'Rosy Christians',

... who are convinced that trusting in Christ results in a charmed life. Rosy Christians claim that believers receive good health, good friends, happy families, popularity and financial prosperity. They will be spared in drought or flood, protected for road accidents, and healed from any diseases. Their church, where the full Gospel is preached, will also be rosy; flourishing and well respected in the community.

... and proceeded to say why this attitude to the faith, (where these Rosy Christians insist that if only one has enough faith, or prays enough, they will be spared from any bad things, or healed from any ill) is not only unhelpful, but is in fact unfaithful to Christ. Because bad things do happen to good people, even Christians, because being a Christian doesn't give us a 24 hour protection policy against any bad things happening to us; and that God never promises that we won't experience dark valleys in life, but that the promise is that God will be with there with us, supporting and loving us through the hard times.

So, on the day that I preach this message, we have in the congregation, visitors, including:
* a couple visiting from Marysville, who lost their home in the Black Saturday fire,
* a former minister of the congregation, who had to retire early from ministry due to a brain tumour which is now terminal,

and among the regular members of the congregation:
* a local couple who lost their home, and almost lost their lives, on Black Saturday, (and also lost a son to an AIDS-related illness some years ago)
* two women who have survived breast cancer
* a couple whose son was killed in a freak farm accident
... just to name a few.

As I was thinking about all this later today, I couldn't help but wonder how these people heard the words that were spoken, and the Word that was preached, today.

My job is to preach it, and then get out of the way to let the Spirit do with the words what she will.

Further to my rant...

2010-08-12T23:31:00.004+10:00

After I penned the rant for the church pew sheet (which BTW has generated a number of positive comments from various people in the congregations. I just hope that if anyone was annoyed or offended by it, they will also tell me, so I can get a realistic idea of where people's sensibilities and sensitivities lie on such matters), I edited it down to a version fit for wider consumption and acceptable length to be a 'Letter to the Editor'.

I sent the Letter to a number of papers, including The Age, the Border Mail, and the local rag and was delighted to see it published (untouched by sub-editor's red pen) in the Myrtleford Times (and presumably all the other North East Newspapers).

Quite rapt.
(if you click on the pic of the article, it will open in a new window, in a more readable form :-)

My pew sheet blurb for this week- an election rant

2010-08-04T12:00:00.002+10:00

As a minister, I have to be careful not to use the pulpit to push my own agendas inappropriately, but at the same time, I am called (as we all are) to be a prophet, standing up and speaking out for justice.

One of the problems in a ‘majority rules’ democracy is that unfortunately, the majority is not always right. We saw this in Jesus’ time, when he was often a lone voice speaking out against corruption, and what he said was so countercultural that we read a number of times in the gospels that the crowd was so angry at what he said, that they sought to kill him. We saw this phenomenon again in Nazi Germany, and I believe we are seeing it again here in Australia over the issue of asylum seekers.

I have been personally distressed and disgusted by the election campaigns of both major parties, that have included in their main ‘policy platforms’ (insofar as either party actually HAS any real policy), the promise to ‘tighten border security’ or ‘stop the boats’. When I first saw these ads on TV, I was outraged, and started ranting to anyone who stood still long enough, “Where is the compassion and justice in this?!” (and as Christians we all know that the Bible is full of requirements for God’s people to act justly, and to especially care for the vulnerable, like widows, orphans and foreigners, so I feel quite justified in my anger here).

In reading some stats provided by a member of our Synod Justice and International Mission (JIM) Unit: only 0.1% of people entered Australia by boat in the last year; refugee and humanitarian visas make up just 0.03% of all visas granted last year; we have had just over 23,000 come by boat in the past 35 years, it is obvious that we are not exactly being overrun by boat people, and over 90% of asylum seekers arriving in Australia by boat over the past few years were found to be genuine refugees, so one has to ask, what are we afraid of?

It seems both parties are appealing to what a friend of mine described as, “some very nasty aspects of the Australian psyche - those phobias against almost any ‘not us’ group you can name.” That same friend lamented the fact that churches and religious organisations are not speaking out about this. This prompted me to see what the Uniting Church has been doing in the area, as well as sending an email to our Moderator, Isabel Thomas Dobson, and President Alistair Macrae, encouraging them both to be bold in speaking out on this topic on behalf of the church.

The results of this were a mixed bag. First, I found a great resource prepared by the Assembly to inform UCA people about the hot issues of this election. The info kit is called ‘Building an Economy for Life’, and can be downloaded from the Assembly website at http://nat.uca.org.au/election2010.html. There are also various issues papers that can be downloaded separately.

Both Alistair and Isabel responded to my email (in less than 24 hours!) with equal frustration. It seems the media are not interested in what the church has to say about these issues, they are too busy pandering to the ‘majority view’. Alistair commented, “Easier said than done to get media interest in our perspectives but we try,” and Isabel also sent me the text of a letter to the editor she sent to The Age and the Hobart Mercury, commenting on the election campaign generally, which was not published in either paper.

So what can we do? We can pray that justice will be done; we can write to our local candidates, expressing our concerns; we can become informed, and talk to anyone who will listen about the issues, and how the values of justice, mercy and compassion would have us respond.

Here endeth the rant.

The preciousness of solidarity

2010-06-22T22:47:00.002+10:00

Tonight I had dinner with a family from one of my congregations. There are three sons in this family, the oldest is about to turn 21, and the youngest is about 17 or 18. They are delightful young men who seem to have somehow found the balance between being tough, country blokes, and gentle, thoughtful young men.

The reason I was asked over for dinner, was to talk to the boys (and as it turned out, also 2 of their friends) about grief.

On Saturday night, all three of the boys were at a 21st birthday party about 2 hours' drive from home, and on the way home, one of the friends they were travelling in convoy with had an accident and was killed. He was 21.

The five young people at dinner tonight were the first ones at the scene, and now have the bond of that shared experience. This evening I observed the 5 of them talking to each other about Saturday night; things that happened at the party, the conversations they'd had with other people from their circle of friends who needed to be informed of this boy's death, the reactions of various people to the news, and some of their own memories of the boy who died.

After we finished eating the mother of the household asked me to say a few words to the kids about the processes of grief, and what might be in store for them as time moves on, which I did. But the bottom line was that they have already been doing what is necessary and healthy for them at this stage of things - talking to each other about what happened, and how they feel about it all.

The relationships that they share with one another, and others in their peer group in the local area are quite close, and I think this shared experience will bring these 5 even closer. The level of solidarity and support they have shown for each other is something of which I think much older and more experienced adults would be envious.

It was a great privilege to spend some time with these young people, and I'm proud of how they're dealing with this very painful and difficult experience.

More on Ordination

2010-05-20T00:23:00.007+10:00

I have now been a Reverend for nearly 4 weeks.

My, how time flies! It still feels weird when people refer to me as "Rev", but I guess I'll get used to that soon enough.

I thought it's probably about time to post some pictures of the ordination service for those of you, dear readers, who haven't already seen these on my Facebook profile. (and I thank the lovely Michael Kregor and Barry Liersch, who took these photos during the service).

Sharing my story

Making my vows

Ordination by prayer and the laying on of hands.

"... accept this stole as a sign of the joyful obedience you owe to Christ."

The Rev Caro Field, enjoying the moment.

Sermon for April 25 (Psalm 23; John 10:22-30; Revelation 7:9-17)

2010-05-07T13:46:00.004+10:00

The 4th Sunday of Easter is traditionally known as ‘Shepherd Sunday’. From listening to the lectionary readings we heard this morning, you will note they all have a shepherd theme:
- The Revelation reading speaks of the ‘lamb that was slain’, becoming the shepherd of those who have been through a great ordeal;
- in John we see Jesus as the Good Shepherd, who knows his sheep, and they know his voice, and the assurance that they will never be snatched away from God.
- and then we come to Psalm 23, which for many is the ultimate word on shepherding and shepherds.

Psalm 23 is one of the best known passages in the whole Bible- familiar to people both within and beyond the church. In fact, I’ll bet most of you would be able to recite Ps 23- whether in its entirety, or in part. It’s little wonder, then, that this Psalm is very popular as a reading at funerals, and in fact, of the dozen or so funerals I have conducted since I’ve been in ministry, probably 4-5 of them have had Ps 23 as one of the readings.

In the context of funerals we often focus on the verse (in the old language): “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil”. The direct reference to death can bring comfort to those people who are experiencing the harsh reality of the death of a loved one. In fact the psalm as a whole is a psalm of comfort, and this is partly due to its familiarity, because, let’s face it, if we are going through a difficult time, don’t we derive comfort from the familiar?

But, outside of that context, is there the danger of familiarity breeding contempt? We know the words of the psalm, but how much of the meaning sinks in whenever we hear, read, or rattle off the words? This is one reason why I chose a translation of Psalm 23 in unfamiliar words to be read today; to get you thinking about what the psalm is actually saying. (the translation from the original Hebrew text is by the Jewish Publication Society of America, rendered fairly recently, in the 1970s)*.

So, as we chew over these unfamiliar words of a familiar psalm, I want to focus on v. 4: the ‘valley of the shadow of death’ line. In the reading we just heard, this verse reads: “Though I walk through a valley of deepest darkness, I fear no harm.” If we take it out of the funeral context into the context of our own life and experience, what does it have to say to us?

Whatever translation we look at, the language is highly symbolic, and the more traditional “valley of the shadow of death” is meant to represent the worst possible times of life- not necessarily limited to literal death. Because, death is not always the worst, or most difficult thing that can happen. During my life, I have had two friends who suffered from long-term depression, and eventually committed suicide- one fairly recently, just over a year ago, and the other about 10 years ago. For them, death was not the worst thing, because by their reckoning death was preferable to the living hell they were experiencing in their depression. So, to associate this verse with literal death, can in some ways, rob it of some of its meaning, and to instead use the term, “valley of deepest darkness” can thus encompass a wider range of human experience than just the fear of death. Something else that is important to note in this psalm is the different ways in which the psalmist refers to, and addresses God. At the beginning and the end of the psalm, we see a more formal form of address, referring to ‘the Lord’, and ‘he’; effectively speaking about God. However in the middle, in vv. 4-5, the psalmist speaks to God directly, addressing God as ‘you’ (eg, “you are with me… you prepare a table…” etc).

And this more personal and intimate form of address comes precisely at the point of greatest danger (in the dark valley; in the presence of enemies). This speaks of intimacy and a personal relationship of trust between the psalmist and the shepherd he or she trusts; and that trust in the Lord’s provision and protection is not just something the psalmist knows about, but is part of a personal experience, emanating from a personal, intimate relationship with the Lord. It is this trust and relationship that allows the psalmist not to fear.

Now, this is all very well for the psalmist (whether King David, or someone else) all those years ago, but what does it mean for us today?

I want to tell you a story about my friend, Mark. Before I start, I need to tell you that he has given me permission to share this part of his story with you . When I asked him about it, he said, “I’ve never featured in sermon before… it’s like being an extra in Neighbours”. I’m not quite sure what experience he has as an extra on Neighbours, but he has given me permission to share his experiences with you (and to publish it on my blog).

I first met Mark when I was working with Fusion in Sydney, and he played in a band that we used in some of our outreach work, and the band rehearsed in our drop in centre for a while. I got to know Mark, and the other guys in the band, we became friends, and I went to some of their gigs in local pubs (and discovered on one of these occasions, that in the 80s it was not the done thing to order a mineral water at Wentworthville pub- in the western suburbs of Sydney).

I remember Mark as a talented singer/songwriter/muso, and a deep thinker; what I would describe as an artistic soul. Around the time I moved to Hobart, about 20 years or so ago, I lost touch with Mark.

Recently, about a week or two ago, I received a message from Mark via Facebook. Now I know that some people scoff at the social networking websites like Facebook and Myspace, but I have found Facebook to be very useful in keeping in touch with people I don’t see very often, and in fact, a number of people who attended my ordination service yesterday wouldn’t have been there if not for contact via Facebook.

So, hearing from Mark was a delightful ‘blast from the past’, and we have exchanged a number of messages over the past week or two, sharing some of what’s been happening since we last saw each other.

His comment was, “I’ve been around the universe and back since we last met”.
- In the late 80s/early 90s, he was on the verge of rock stardom, with a recording contract.
- Then he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (manic depression) and was subsequently sued by the record company when he was unable to honour his contract with them due to his illness.
- He ‘lost’ his marriage, and spent around 10 years living as what he describes as ‘a mad hermit’, isolated, alone and feeling like he was on the verge of losing his mind.
- He later formed a new relationship, and subsequently ‘lost’ that,
- and sometime in all of this he also walked away from his relationship with God.

I am convinced that in all this, Mark experienced first-hand what it is to ‘walk through a valley of deepest darkness’ (perhaps even more than one valley). He commented about his illness, that when he was younger, he tended to be more manic, but as he gets older, he tends to be more depressed (something he has become a little philosophical about as he contemplates turning 50 later this year).

For a long and painful 10 years (or maybe longer) Mark’s life was lived in the darkest valleys, and he felt very alone and miserable. About a year or two ago, he started to come out of the downward spiral (I think he saw losing that subsequent relationship as a kind of ‘wake up call’, and started to take positive steps to reclaim his life). So life is gradually starting to look up for Mark, and part of this process, has involved him recognising God’s love and presence, and walking back into the loving embrace of the Father.

Life is still not easy for Mark, and he still has his times of darkness, but through it all is the reassurance that he “needs fear no harm, for God is with him”.

Back in my Sydney days, Mark and I were mates; I liked him a lot (and if truth be told, when I was 19-20, I had a bit of a girly crush on him- well, he was tall, dark, handsome and played in a rock band; what is a girl to do?)

When he shared his story with me, I cried when I heard what he’s been through, and is still going through. I wanted to rant at God, and shout, “It’s not fair for one person to suffer so much!” I’m sure that many of you would also have been in situations where you wanted to scream at God because of the unfair suffering of people you know and love.

Rabbi Harold Kushner, in his book about Psalm 23 says these words:
“God’s promise was never that life would be fair. God’s promise was that, when we had to confront the unfairness of life, we would not have to do it alone, for He would be with us.”

This is the message of hope this psalm has for us today. When we go through the darkest, unfairest valleys: of depression, broken relationships, illness or other dark passages of life, we are not alone.

But even more than this, the Shepherd who travels with us is the same Good Shepherd who gave his life for his sheep, the same ‘lamb that was slain’, who became the shepherd for those who had been through a great ordeal; whose journey to the cross and back means that he knows and understands our pain and loneliness because he has walked through his own dark valleys.

Because of this, we can truly rejoice and join with the psalmist in saying, “Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for many long years.”

Thanks be to God. ……

* Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd;
I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me to water in places of repose;
He renews my life;
He guides me in right paths
as befits His name.

Though I walk through a valley of deepest darkness;
I fear no harm, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff- they comfort me.

You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
my drink is abundant.

Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
for many long years.

Translation: © 1972, The Jewish Publication Society of America

From Tas...

2010-05-07T13:19:00.004+10:00

I'm conscious that I've been a tad silent of late, this is partly because life has been busy for a while, and also because for the last two weeks I have been on holiday in Tasmania, after my ordination, on April 24, and have had intermittent access to the internet and even mobile phone coverage (gotta love Optus mobile coverage in country Tasmania- NOT!)

Anyway, I will eventually get around to blogging about my ordination- and maybe even posting some pics that a friend took and posted to his Facebook site (for those of you who are my FB friends, you will be able to view them on my site, under "Photos of Caro").

The day after my ordination, I was privileged to lead worship at Sandy Bay Uniting Church (my former 'home congregation', from which I candidated, and where the ordination service was held), and in my next post, I will publish my sermon from that occasion (not that I'm in the habit of posting all my sermons to my blog, but I feel that this one was pretty special for a number of reasons).

So there you have it, a brief reminder that I am still alive in teh blogosphere, and a promise that I will eventually get around to blogging about my ordination and holiday sometime Real Soon Now.

Really.

Promise :-)

Today's the day!

2010-04-24T08:33:00.002+10:00

Well, after what seems like aeons of discernment, study, formation and ministry practice, today I will be ordained as a Minister of the Word.

As I look out my hotel room window, I note that it is raining in Hobart- which seems to be a bit of a sign (showers of blessing? :-). When my colleague Martin's service of recognition was held in Rochester, about half an hour before the commencement, the heavens opened and it teemed. Almost exactly the same thing happened just before my service of recognition in Myrtleford, and the then chairperson of the Presbytery commented that we interns had brought the rain with us to break the drought in the north east of the state (Vic).

So, rain on a significant occasion seems to be de rigeur and I'm glad to see that the pattern seems to be holding for my ordination day (and can't wait to see if it rains on the day of Martin's ordination too :-)

I have been feeling a tad twitchy with excitement and indescribable emotion for a week or so now, as I have been preparing to come away to Tasmania for this event (and a holiday that follows). When I woke up this morning I cried; but as a dear friend (and Anglican priest) assured me, tears of joy are allowed today, so I guess that's ok.

I have been overwhelmed by people's response to this whole ordination thing. From those who have insisted on travelling long distances (from Sydney and various parts of Victoria, not to mention around Tas) to be here today, and the many emails, Facebook comments and physical cards, gifts etc that I have received from a wide range of people; it's all been a bit much really. One friend even brought her husband and kids over from Melbourne, and we enjoyed some great catch-up time on the boat on Thurs night (and then breakfast at the House of Anvers... mmmm... chocolate :-)

When the room service man from the hotel brought me my breakfast this morning (yes, I know it's decadent to have room service breakfast in a city hotel), his parting comment was, "have a great day". It's not going to be just a great day- it's going to be a stunner!

So I guess I should get off the compter, and jump into it- have to have a shower, and spend a bit more time in prayerful contemplation to prepare for what is to come later in the day.

Wheee! :-)

Flags and Funerals

2010-04-18T23:13:00.003+10:00

Before all my Uniting Church clergy readers break out in a cold sweat: don't worry, it's not what you think.

I learned something new yesterday. Myrtleford is a smallish country town, and in the middle of town we have a flag pole which flies the Australian flag.

It is the custom in this town, that whenever there is a funeral in town, regardless of where it is, the flag is lowered to half-mast as a sign of respect and community mourning.

Yesterday, when enjoying a late lunch in a local cafe, I was approached by a woman (who I do know) who happily informed me that her husband is now "the flag man". I must have looked at her blankly, as she then went on to explain that he is the one who is in charge of lowering the flag to half-mast whenever there's a funeral. I must have still looked blankly at her, as she then went on to explain the tradition, and that apparently Myrtleford is the only town in the state that still keeps this tradition, and that the reason she was telling me all this was because in order to lower the flag, her husband needs to know when a funeral is to be held, and the funeral directors she contacted told her to talk to the ministers in the town, rather than them, about passing on this information.

So, after just over a year, and about a dozen funerals under my belt (although not all of these in Myrtleford), I now know about this tradition, and have filed away in my brain (a scary place sometimes) the information that next time I have to conduct a funeral in Myrtleford, I should contact this fellow so he can lower the flag.

So, it seems, you learn something new every day.

An interesting week

2010-04-10T22:21:00.005+10:00

I know I haven't blogged for AGES, mea culpa and all that... but life has been a tad busy.

In the midst of all this busyness, I needed to make a quick observation: this week has been amazing.

Holy Week, traditionally the busiest week of the year in the church, lived up to its traditional reputation, with 5 services (all different, so I couldn't cheat and repeat any) across the weekend from Thurs night to Sun morning. I certainly felt like a cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down afterwards (but opted instead for two whole days off! Well I figured if most people got to take a 4-day weekend over Easter, the least I could do was to take a 2-day weekend- being Monday and Tuesday- for a change :-)

Following that, I managed to double-book myself for a funeral on Friday morning, when I already had a hospital service (but for some reason it wasn't in my diary), so survived this by getting a parishioner to take the hospital service- I have always said that my idea of ministry is to encourage people to discover, develop and use their gifts for the Kingdom, so this was a great opportunity to put that into practice.

So having averted a possible disaster from the double-booking, the funeral on Friday went very well, with many many people present to farewell a lady who was a bit of a local legend in the town- well known and much loved. I had the privilege of visiting her in hospital before she died, and her profound faith, and desire to go and be with Jesus was a great inspiration.

Amid all this, though, also came the very sad and shocking news that a lay preacher who had conducted many services for the congregations of Myrtleford, Beechworth and Yackandandah, died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack on Wednesday, only days after leading Easter worship in Beechworth and Yack. I think we're all still pretty stunned. His funeral is on Monday, and I expect it will be a huge and very emotional event.

And now, I am putting the final touches on tomorrow morning's worship for Beechworth and Yack- we are having a special ceremony to welcome some newish people in Beechworth who have decided that they want our congregation to be their spiritual home, so mixed in with the joy of the Easter season and the celebration of the welcoming ceremony, there will be a sombre note as we lament the loss of our friend Norm, who left us so suddenly during the week.

Life in ministry certainly is a mixed bag, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

A prayer for today

2010-02-07T12:06:00.006+11:00

Today is the anniversary of the Black Saturday bushfires. In worship this morning at Myrtleford, we marked this anniversary with a special act of lighting candles of remembrance as part of our prayers of intercession.

Below is the prayer that I used. I wrote the opening preface and the part relating to the lighting of candles, and the rest comes from Uniting in Worship resources.

It was a very special time; emotional, sombre, and I hope, healing, as people hugged each other when they moved to the front of the worship space to light a candle, and returned to their seats.

Loving God,
a year has passed since our community cowered
under the weight of the Black Saturday bushfires.
There have been losses:
of lives,
of homes,
of property,
and of spirit, that has crumbled under the pressure.

There has been hard work:
in adjusting to a new reality,
in cleaning up,
in rebuilding,
and in supporting one another through this time.

Loving God, hear us
as we offer these prayers in love for ourselves and for others.

For those who lack love
because their hurts are too great –
Silence
Through Christ, may we be your friends and servants,
bringers of love and life.

For those who lack hope
because their ideals have been shattered –
Silence
Through Christ, may we be your friends and servants,
bringers of love and life.

For those who lack life
because their weariness is too overwhelming –
Silence
Through Christ, may we be your friends and servants,
bringers of love and life.

As we remember specific people and situations,
for others, and ourselves,
we bring these before God in the symbolic gesture
of lighting a candle.
(people come forward to light tapers)

Fill your people with love, hope and life.
Cause us to celebrate with the joyful,
mourn with the sorrowful,
sit quietly with the weary,
and encourage the eager.
Touch us with the power of resurrection
through Christ our Lord...

Something to remember...

2010-02-04T12:44:00.002+11:00

Just over three weeks ago, I had a mole removed from my lower back, because my GP didn't like the look of it and wanted to be on the safe side. As it turned out, the mole was benign, was completely excised, and all was well with the world... or at least so I thought.

When I returned to have the sutures removed, the nurse commented that it was a bit red, but no sign of infection, and I should leave the wound site uncovered to encourage the drying/healing process. Again, all seemed to be going fine...

A week later, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed that the site had been bleeding and weeping, the evidence of which was on my clothes, so after much contorting, I patted it dry as best I could, and put some bandaids over it (one bandaid was not big enough to cover the whole site, so I needed to put two across it). Next morning I rang the surgery and made an appointment (that afternoon) to have the practice nurse take a look at it.

The nurse was a bit uncertain and called in the doctor, who ordered a swab, and prescribed a course of antibiotics, got the nurse to dress it, and told me to come back in a week for the nurse to have another look at it.

The nurse's dressing didn't last as long as she advised me it should have, and when I replaced it after that each day with the particular kind of dressing she recommended, the wound was still bleeding (the fact that it was in such an awkward position on my back that I couldn't really see properly to put the dressing on, meant that on at least one occasion, a bit of the 'sticky' part of the dressing went onto the actual wound site, so when I removed it, it ripped off the top of the scab, and made it bleed even worse).

Also, during the week, the course of antibiotics gave me diarrhoea, which was really pleasant- NOT!

Speaking to my mother the other night, she was astounded that this was going on, as she (a veteran of many mole removals) was adamant that it should have been well and truly all healed up by now. I am also feeling a bit over it all, and the bleeding, the pus, and the fuss.

So today, when I returned to the nurse, she redressed the wound and used a special gel, designed to 'eat' away at the icky bits (a bit like a modern day leech!) so that the wound can heal up cleanly. Back again next Monday, so I hope that this will be the final visit.

All this to-ing and fro-ing has gotten me thinking. The other day, I was whingeing to God about the frustration of the whole process, but then was struck with the thought of how fortunate I am to live in a country where this kind of medical treatment (for what really is a minor thing, in the whole scheme of things) is actually available to me, and I am in a position to afford to access it. And for that I certainly give thanks.

I started thinking of people, like a lady I visited in hospital yesterday, who injure themselves, and take MONTHS to heal from a similarly small and insignificant wound, battling infection after infection and just the lack of healing 'grunt' in their tired and ageing bodies.

I am not doing too badly after all...

Back from holidays

2010-01-22T10:51:00.003+11:00

Yes, I'm back from a fortnight of holidays that makes me sound like a bit of a jet-setter. First to Sydney, to visit Mum (and catch up with a few friends), then on to WA for a week with Mum in tow.

We spent 4 days in New Norcia, attended the Ecumenical Carols Service there (the first Christmas service that I didn't have to lead, or do something up front), did some touristy things around town, and then headed to Perth, where we stayed in a rather flash hotel in the CBD for three days.

In Perth we visited Fremantle, shopped till we dropped (well, actually, Mum shopped till I dropped! ;-) visited AQWA, and had my traditional dinner with Adrienne at Han's Cafe in Belmont (something I always have to do when visiting Perth).

Now I've been home for almost a fortnight, and it feels a bit like I was never away. Trying to get back into the regular rhythm of my work and ministry here, when the weather is still screaming "holidays!" is not easy. I have already conducted my first funeral for the year, which takes my total since arriving up to 8, and now I am procrastinating, because selecting hymns for Sunday morning is the thing I find hardest in worship preparation.

However, this week has been rather special, as on Sun evening -Tues arvo, I shared with some fellow-interns in a pre-ordination retreat at the lovely St Julian's Retreat Centre in Cheltenham (Vic). It was good to take some time out to meditate on the ordination vows we will all be making sometime soon, to spend some solid time in silence and prayer, and to share with each other some of the insights that God gave to us during this process.

Wednesday was the funeral (which was a bit emotionally draining, as funerals tend to be), so I spent some time afterwards wombling around Beechworth, and ended up in the old Schoolhouse Craft gallery where I enjoyed a delightful Devonshire Tea, in the back room.

Yesterday was a treat- in the afternoon, Alan and Chantal arrived, en route from Canberra to Melbourne, and I met up with them at the Gapsted cellar door (Alan has been known to buy Gapsted wines from Aldi supermarkets, so it was nice to introduce him to the source). We then enjoyed much fruit of the vine, with some great Tassie cheese, and then dinner at my local. It was great to have them stay here and see even a little of my local patch.

And now, I think it is time to bite the bullet, stop procrastinating, and pick some hymns!

God's love is amazing

2009-12-25T23:13:00.003+11:00

Christmas Day is almost over, and I can't help but shed a tear or two of joy as I reflect on the last few days.

Being minister to three rural congregations, I have to spread myself about a bit at special times in the church calendar such as Christmas and Easter, so this week saw me leading the regular Sunday worship at Myrtleford, then an early Christmas Eve service on Thurs at Yackandandah, followed by a 'midnight' candlelight Christmas Eve service at Myrtleford and Christmas morning at Beechworth.

Being my first Christmas in this ministry patch (and also my first Christmas as a minister!) I took as much advice as I could from the locals about what is usually done, who attends these services, and what they would like, (as well as gleaning ideas from various resources and colleagues with more experience).

For the Christmas Eve services, I opted for a slightly modified version of the traditional Lessons and Carols format, allowing the readings and the carols to tell the story in their own way, rather than preaching a sermon, and also allowing the opportunity for members of the congregation to light a candle of remembrance for loved ones absent this Christmas.

It has struck me that Christmas is often also a time of sadness for people who are struggling with relationship breakdowns or who have experienced the death of a loved one in the past year or so. Some congregations hold 'Blue Christmas' services, which are quiet, reflective services, providing space for the grief and less than 'bubbly' feelings to be acknowledged and expressed. After talking to a few people, I decided not to offer this as a separate service in my congregations, but to incorporate a time of reflection and remembrance in the evening services, and this seemed to work well.

Another pastoral practice I commenced, (after a suggestion from a colleague) was to send Christmas cards to the families of folks whose funerals I have conducted during the year. I printed a special message which I pasted inside the card, saying:

The first Christmas after
the death of someone you love
can be difficult.

My thoughts and prayers
are with you and your family, that God’s peace
may be with you this Christmas.

I received a few responses from these, which indicated that people appreciated the fact that I had been in touch.

Another pastoral thing I trialled (and I think I will make a regular thing) was the 'open house' I mentioned in a previous blog entry. People have commented how much they enjoyed the opportunity to drop in, and a number of folk who didn't get there on the day have said that they would have loved to come, but had other commitments. I'm thinking of making this a bi-annual event, as I really do enjoy having folks around, and think that offering hospitality is an important part of my pastoral ministry.

So now, Christmas is over, there was much joy and celebration, tempered with some sadness - I still miss Dad, and I think it will take some time before I get used to the fact that not only is he not around, but unless Mum comes to me down here, I also won't see her on Christmas Day (but I'm looking forward to seeing her tomorrow when I head to Sydney for holidays :-).

Jesus was well and truly welcomed in this corner of the world, and may it be so everywhere.

Tis the season to be... hospitable

2009-12-22T17:36:00.003+11:00

It never ceases to amaze me that when it comes to hospitality, no matter how much I give (or even seek to give), I seem to receive so much more in return.

During a recent conversation with members of my lay reflection group (members of my congregations who have met with me monthly to provide pastoral support and encouragement during my first year in this, my first placement), the comment was made that many of them felt that they weren't sure whether they were welcome to drop into the manse. This was especially the case for those from Beechworth and Yack, who do often have cause to come to Myrtleford, for shopping or other errands, and have sometimes thought of calling in to say hello or have a cuppa, but weren't sure whether that would be presumptuous, or seen to be 'invading' my privacy or personal space.

I suspect this perception may go back to the days when there was a shift from seeing the manse as the centre of parish life, to seeing the manse as the private residence of the minister.

In the 'old days', church meetings were always held at the manse, and there were always church folk dropping in for various reasons to see the minister or his/her family, and there was an expectation that offering hospitality of all kinds went with the territory of being a 'manse family'. Whereas, these days, there is a stronger emphasis on the importance of self-care for ministers, so that my generation of ministers is encouraged to take regular time out from ministry, and not make ourselves available 24/7, except for genuine emergencies, and the sense that the manse is the home of the minister, and that the parishioners should respect the minister's privacy and need for 'down time'.

I suspect that the pendulum may have swung too far to the latter extreme, and I am keen to find a way to balance these two important values of hospitality and self-care. So I have made a deal with my parishioners, which involves the following statements:

1. There are certain times when they know I will be unlikely to answer my phone (ie before 9am on a work day, because 8:30-9 is my prayer time), and on Monday, which is my day off. I tell them that the machine will usually pick up calls at these times, and if it's urgent, I'll get back to them.

2. People are welcome to drop in for a chat and/or a cuppa, as long as they are prepared to take me, and the state of the manse, as they find it (i.e. I am not by nature a tidy person, so if I need to shift a pile of papers and books so they can sit down on the couch, they need to be able to cope with that); and I promised them that if I am busy with something that I need to get done in a hurry, or am about to go out, I will tell them that it's not a convenient time, and ask them to call back another time. This way they know that they don't need to try to second guess whether it's a good time to call in or not, because I will tell them.

Everyone I've spoken to about this seems to be quite happy with this arrangement, so we shall see how it goes in the long run. To kick things off, and to reinforce my desire to welcome people to the manse, I had an 'open house' this afternoon from 2-5pm, and invited people from across the two parishes to drop in any time during that period, for an informal cuppa.

During the course of the afternoon, I had more than 20 people drop in, and at times my loungeroom was packed, with standing room only, and other times there were just a few of us, but I think overall it was a resounding success, and people seemed delighted to have the opportunity to come and visit me in the manse (which also involved meeting and chatting with folk from other congregations that they might not have known, which was also a bonus).

I think I will make this a regular thing, maybe a couple of times a year, because, as I implied in my opening sentence, whilst it might have looked like I was the one being generous and offering hospitality, I also got a lot in return; the pleasure of chatting with people in a relaxed and informal context (and my collection of Christmas cards, hanging in the living room also seemed to expand too :-)

Amusing Christmas greeting

2009-12-18T01:21:00.003+11:00

One of my Facebook friends, who I haven't actually seen for probably around 10 years or so (and is known for his rather dry and sometimes odd wit), sent me the following FB message today:

Merry Christmas
All the best for your employer's birthday and the new year.

Made me grin :-)

(although the concept of the Christmas services I'm currently planning being effectively my boss' birthday party did tend to increase the pressure a little :-/ )

A marvellously meandering Monday

2009-12-15T22:16:00.003+11:00

One of the things I really love about my current ministry lifestyle is my weekly day off. I am apparently being a little 'old fashioned' in my practice of taking Mondays as my day off (some colleagues have told me that these days they prefer to take a different day of the week off, and some of them don't take a whole day in one go, but rather blocs of time across a couple of different days).

Be that as it may, and call me old fashioned if you will, but after the emotional energy of Sunday, I really hang out for my Monday: a day when I let the machine answer the phone and don't think of work or ministry related stuff at all.

Yesterday, I had intentions of getting up (relatively) early, and heading to Wodonga for some retail therapy. There's a particular shop there that I wanted to visit, and so the idea was to set out early, hit the shops at Centro Wodonga, have some lunch there, then head home to potter around the house, do some washing, and write Christmas cards.

Well, folks, you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men; well that seems to apply doubly so for clergy women. I ended up having a rather lush sleep-in (for once, NOT interrupted by parcel deliverers, or a certain parishioner who seems to have a radar for ringing my doorbell when I'm either still in bed or in the shower on a go-slow morning). I crawled out of bed around 11am, had a leisurely shower and breakfast (by which time the mail had arrived, so I read that over brekky).

A little more pottering, dropping off some letters to the postoffice, watering the plants on the back porch (and noting with glee that the chilli plants are budding!), then I brought in the line full of washing that I had put out on Saturday, and then started thinking about the rest of my day.

By this time it was approaching 2pm, and I decided that perhaps I needed to revise my plans for retail therapy- Wodonga might be a bit far, so a visit to Rivers in Wangaratta could be the go (as I wanted to get some summery, sandally shoes that are a little more presentable than my current 'beachcomber' style sandals).

As I hopped in the car, I thought about lunch. Given the lateness of the hour, maybe I should aim for Maccas or Hungry Jacks at Wang?... as I set out, I changed my mind, and decided to divert via Milawa and the Gourmet Food Trail, and visit the Milawa Cheese Factory to see if I could do lunch there... as I turned off onto the Snow Rd, I changed my mind again, as I remembered a rather interesting looking winery a bit farther past Milawa that I had passed many times and had been tempted to check out- this could be my opportunity!

So, with that in mind, I headed to Sam Miranda winery where I stopped and enjoyed a lovely lunch and a glass of their Sparkling Snow Road Pink. After a relaxing repast and read, (with a lovely view out the window, and friendly conversation with the girl managing the cellar door front of house), I continued on my way to Wang.

Fortuitously, I found a parking spot right outside the Rivers outlet (must be an omen! :-) and went inside to channel Imelda. I found a number of pairs of shoes that met my requirements, and as I was leaving the shop, I bumped (almost literally) into my Wangaratta counterpart, Ron Manley (who said he had not long ago been joking with the chair of his church council about how long it would take before he bumped into me on the streets of Wangaratta).

He invited me back to the church for a cuppa, and I enjoyed a lovely time catching up and comparing notes with Ron of our respective Carols by Candlelight experiences, Christmas services, holiday plans etc (among other things).

By this time it was nearly 6:30 and I headed towards home, feeling like I'd had a great adventure on my day off.

The day concluded with takeaway pizza for dinner, and writing Christmas cards in front of some trashy TV episodes on DVD (I seem to be going through a vampire phase at the moment, having just finished watching the first season of True Blood, and am now revisiting the first season of Moonlight. What is it about Aussie actors in American vampire TV shows? - Ryan Kwanten in True Blood, and Alex O'Loughlin in Moonlight- oh well, it makes for nice, familiar scenery anyway. Once I finish this current season, I might dig out my old Angel eps, because after all, Angel and Spike really are the vampires' vampires! :-).

All in all, it set me up well to commence my working week in a relaxed and joyous frame of mind (after all, we are in the week of JOY in Advent Season, so it's all rather fitting! :-)

Aye... aye... AIDA!

2009-12-08T20:37:00.004+11:00

I spent my day off yesterday en route to Melbourne, to go and see the latest Opera Australia production of Aida, with Barbara, a friend from Tas. Some months ago Barb sent me an excited email, saying that a rather wonderful production of Aida was coming to Melb, and wondering if I could escape for a night to go with her to see it. So, after a bit of research into dates, times and ticket prices, we had a date.

Barbara flew to Melbourne on Saturday, and caught a bus up to my neck of the woods, to spend the best part of the weekend in Myrtleford, and then we set off for Melb on Monday. En route, we called into Seymour, and enjoyed a relaxed lunch and catch up with Linley and Barry, before making our way to the Crowne Plaza Hotel in the heart of Melbourne's CBD (a bit flasher than my usual accommodation options in Melbourne, but we were able to take advantage of a special offer that Barbara and her husband had, which worked out very nicely indeed).

We were a bit like two giggly schoolgirls, enjoying the opulence around us (our room on the 6th floor had two double beds and a stunning view of the river, and the lights of the city after dark), and treated ourselves to a drink in the bar, and dinner in the hotel's Chinese restaurant (which, was a step or two up from the local Chinese takeaway in Myrtleford), before heading to the Entertainment Centre for the opera.

The set, costumes and everything was so lavish and 'shiny', it was wonderful (and I could even almost believe that the dashing tenor Radames could prefer the rather dumpy, middle-aged looking soprano 'slave-girl' Aida to the stunningly attractive -and very shiny- mezzo Amneris- which proves yet again the rule of opera that no matter how attractive she is, the alto never gets the guy!)

Barb and I had a great time, and when I got home at lunchtime today, after this experience, and the earlier bliss of the weekend, it felt like I'd been away on holiday for a week, and it took a while for me to get my head back into 'work' mode.

Given how busy I am going to be over the next couple of weeks, this is probably a good thing; a kind of recharging, and girding my loins in preparation for a busy time.

Ahhh blissss...

2009-12-06T23:26:00.005+11:00

Yesterday (Saturday) I had the most blissful day I've had in a very long time (which, given how generally happy and excited I am about being here and doing what I'm doing, is really saying something.)

My friend and colleague, Martin, was visiting from Rochester, and we spent the day exploring my local ministry patch. We started with a trip to Beechworth, where Martin worked hard to single-handedly prop up the rural economy with a bit of retail therapy and Christmas shopping. I teased him mercilessly about this, but he got the better of me in the end, which will become apparent soon.

We then swung by the Beechworth church, where we were both impressed by the liturgical elegance of the worship space, decked out in its coordinated Advent purple. (I'll try to remember to take my camera next time I go to Beechworth, and post a pic here for your edification). It's really nice to have someone in the congregation who has such a great liturgical and artistic sense. I had had a conversation with this woman a few days prior about how we might use seasonal purple around the sanctuary, and no sooner had we spoken about it, than it was done! :-)

On the way out of Beechworth heading for Yackandandah, (and hello to the old bears who I am guessing will be reading this after my mention of Yack triggered your Google alert :-), we took a detour via the Beechworth scenic drive around the gorge- something I hadn't done before. It was great to see the vastness of the gorge, and enjoy the scenery.

Then on to Yack, to inspect our little stone church; followed by some well-earned morning tea at the Yack bakery (although by this time it was around noon). Then a wander down the main drag of town, and another new discovery- a fantastic little gallery called Spiritus, housed in the old Yackandandah Motor Garage Premises at the bottom end of the main street.

The ambience and kind of items on sale there reminded me very much of the gallery shops lining Salamanca Place in Hobart, so I felt very much at home. I even discovered some jewellery by a Hobart metal sculptor, Bruce Pringle, whose work is very distinctive (I have a pendant and earrings he made, which are favourites).

But by far the most eye-catching item in the place was the very large wooden cross (about 1.5m high, I think), with a stylised metal representation of Christ on it, which was displayed in the window. Martin and I spent quite some time admiring this, and wondering about its presence so prominently in this place. I couldn't help myself, and had to ask the gallery owner about it, wondering who had made it. She told me about the artists (one local and one from Lithuania), and in the process of this discussion, I noticed a smaller version of the cross (about half the size) propped up near the larger one.

The cross, shown in front of my fireplace

At this point, I was reminded quite acutely of the fact that neither the Beechworth nor Yackandandah churches have a cross of any kind in them, and my mind started wandering down the path of contemplating how magnificent this (smaller) cross would look in a church. The gallery owner offered to let me borrow the smaller cross to 'test drive' it in the Yack church, to see what the congregation thought about it, but I was so struck by the artistic beauty and liturgical elegance of the piece, that I just had to buy it, and this way, it will remain my property, which can hang in one of the churches for a while, and when I leave, I can take it with me.

The fact that it's not a bare, or 'empty' cross, but has even a stylised Christ hanging on it might pose some problems for some of my parishioners (as in the Uniting Church, and most Protestant churches, it is not our tradition to use a 'crucifix', depicting the body of Christ hanging on the cross, but rather an empty cross, symbolising the fact that "he's not here, he is risen"), but I guess the best thing to do is see what happens. It is a beautifully evocative work of art, and I think introducing it at Easter time could be a good move.

More detail of the metal sculpture

After the purchase, Martin became my 'cross-bearer', carrying said item as we made our way up the street to the car. We discovered that carrying a large cross up the main street of a country town is a great conversation starter (funny that!). The price tag on the cross was significantly more than the total Martin had spent on his purchases during the morning, so we agreed that I 'won' the prize for propping up the rural economy the most that day.

So we took our purchases home to Myrtleford, where I packed the eski with a picnic lunch (and of course, some lovely Gapsted Moscato) and we headed for Buffalo River Dam. The weather was perfect for a picnic, and we found a picnic table in the shade and enjoyed our lunch, with a luscious view of the lake and its serene surrounds. We had packed a lot into the day, and it would have been wonderful to stretch out on the grass and have a snooze in the shade for an hour or so, but Martin needed to head home, and I needed to head to Wangaratta to pick up my next house guest, Barbara, from Tassie.

The blissful scenery of Buffalo River Dam
(oh, and Martin in the foreground! :-)

So all in all, it was a fabulous day, and despite being full of activity, was very refreshing and relaxing. Have I mentioned recently how much I love living here in the north east? :-)

Coolness of the day- The Muppets do Queen!

2009-11-25T16:32:00.006+11:00

This is the coolest of cool YouTube videos- the Muppets performing Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. Just love it, and wanted to share the cool.

Just call me St Francis...

2009-11-25T11:02:00.004+11:00

It seems there is no limit to my attractant powers over our furry and feathered friends.

I have already banged on incessantly about my 'possum whisperer' status, when my Brunswick bathroom became something of a right-of-way to local possums seeking to get from the trees and rooftops back down to the ground again.

Well, now it seems the birds are starting to feel strangely called into my orbit. First, I have been woken up at obscenely early hours (well, before 7am!) by a bird that I suspect must be nesting in the eaves just outside my bedroom window. At the appointed time each morning for a couple of weeks, I was woken up by the sounds of scratching, scraping and flapping of wings that sounded, to my half asleep brain, to be disturbingly close. Fortunately, this unique alarm clock seems to have desisted, but last night marked the latest in my adventures in animal husbandry.

There was an Elders' meeting in my lounge room, and as we were spending some time in prayer at the start of the meeting, we were confronted with a loud scruffling noise, coming from the fire place. "Sounds like Santa is coming early!" I quipped.

More scruffling, and a few puffs of soot emanating from the vent of the wood heater firebox indicated that there was indeed some poor critter trapped in the flue of the wood heater.

Being a group of 4 women, we discussed our options- call the local shire ranger to deal with it? No way they'd come out at night... a chimney sweep? (who just happened to be the former tenant of this house)- didn't answer his phone... well, maybe we'll just continue with the meeting, and see what happens.

By the end of the meeting, and after a few more instances of fluttering and puffs of soot out of the vents, it became evident that it was indeed a bird that had managed to get into this sticky situation, and that it had actually managed to free itself from the flue, and was now happily perched on the piece of wood inside the wood heater.

So, our intrepid group sprung into action, closing off all doors, so that the only way was out, and armed with a towel, to humanely try to grab the bird, we opened the door of the wood heater. The bird didn't come quietly, and rather than allowing us to gently capture it in the towel, it flew out of the firebox, and floundered sootily around the loungeroom for a bit, perching first on the blade of the ceiling fan (and was I glad that we thought to turn the fan off first!), then on top of the curtains... and finally managed to find the door to the hallway, and then the open front door to safety.

I think it will be an Elders' meeting that will be remembered for a long time (for the entertainment value, if nothing else)!

Feeling rich

2009-11-05T14:28:00.002+11:00

With this week's Gospel reading about the widow's mite (I grew up with the KJV, so sue me!), it got some of the members of a liturgy email list I'm on asking questions about good illustrations about money or giving to use in this week's children's talk in their churches.

The discussion then led to poverty, and the idea of how privileged we in the west really are. One member of the list shared a link to a website called the Global Rich List, where you enter your annual wage, and it tells you where you stand in the world's economy.

Now I know lots of people seem to think that a ministry stipend is not the most glamorous income in the world, but when I entered the figures (converted from AUD to USD), the Global Rich List told me that I come in the richest 2% in the world.

Makes you think really, doesn't it?

I'm loaded.
It's official.
I'm the 129,565,218 richest person on earth!

How rich are you? >>

In the hot seat

2009-10-29T22:49:00.003+11:00

A few months ago, as a bit of a lark, I filled in an online application to become a contestant on Channel 9's Millionaire Hotseat quiz show.

A couple of weeks later, I received an email, congratulating me that I had passed that first stage and was invited to attend an audition in Melbourne a week or so later.

So I did.
And I got through to the final stage, where I had my photo taken, and a video interview with the contestant coordinator was taped.

Some time passed, and then I received a call to say they wanted me on the show!

So on Monday this week, I found myself again in Melbourne, this time at the studios of Channel 9, for the taping of the show.

The process took all day, from 8:30am till about 5pm (the original wrap time was supposed to be 6:30, but we were let go early). I got the full treatment, with hair and makeup, wardrobe had to approve my clothing choice (which took two goes to get right, the first top I wore had too many small dots on it and would strobe on camera, so I had to change), and a rehearsal, to get us used to the set and what would happen on the show.

Finally, after lunch, we began taping the shows. Five shows were taped on Monday, so there was a group of 30 contestants (6 per show) that formed a bit of a community as we watched each show being taped, and cheered on as people won, and gasped when they came close, but not quite there.

Finally the time came for my show to be taped. My friend and former neighbour, Alan, was my 'friend in the audience', and we were set. It was a lot of fun, and as much as I have never really been a big fan of Eddie Maguire, I have to say that in person he really is a nice guy, and very good at what he does.

Did I win a million dollars? Well, I signed a piece of paper that says I won't disclose that till after the episode goes to air. So if you want to know how I went, you'll have to watch the show on Friday 6th November.

sigh

2009-10-15T00:17:00.003+11:00

Friday is the 2-year anniversary of Dad's death. It's been interesting to monitor my feelings as this date approaches, and I was particularly surprised by my very negative reaction to the whole Fathers' Day palaver this year.

As the TV ads, junkmail and various email promotions bombarded me with the "perfect gift for Dad!" messages in the lead up to September, I became more and more agitated and likely to burst into tears for no apparent reason.

I was in New Norcia on study leave on that particular day, and remember a woman who was a fellow participant in the weekend retreat making a scathing comment about how the priest who presided at Mass on that Sunday prayed for "the fathers" but not for mothers. Someone else pointed out, "that's probably because today is Fathers' Day," and that almost subliminal mention of fathers in the prayer of intercession was the only reference to Fathers' Day in the Mass.

My response to hearing that comment (as I hadn't quite realised the significance of the date) was, "Finally... thank God it's finally come, now the advertising will stop".

It's not as if Fathers' Day was anything special when Dad was alive- we never made much of a deal of Mothers' or Fathers' Days. My usual filial duty consisted of a phone call on the day, and maybe a card, if they were really lucky (and I remembered to send it... they often would have arrived after the fact, as I'm a bit vague about such dates). But for some reason, this year, even more than last year, the fact that I was fatherless on Fathers' Day hit me.

This year, I won't have the opportunity to do anything particular to mark the date, as I will be spending Friday travelling to Canberra, and participating in a seminar on music and liturgy. (Last year, I watched the DVD recording of Dad's funeral, and then rang Mum and we cried together over the phone). This year, Mum will be in Newcastle, with my aunt and cousin, so at least she won't be alone, which is a good thing. I imagine we'll cry at each other over the phone once we both get back home and have the chance to catch up with each other.

It's hard to believe it's been two years. I still miss you Dad.

Floral update

2009-10-04T15:50:00.004+11:00

I realise that in being such a slack blogger in recent times, I have neglected to share the progress of my potted bulbs.

I enjoyed a lovely crop of daffodils and jonquils (the last of which are now in a vase on my dining table), and also some delightful tulips, including some dark purply-black blooms which were pretty spectacular.

These have all now pretty much finished blooming, and in their place, the rinunculi and anemones are taking over, and looking lovely, with the freesias also starting to bloom. Just gorgeous!

Here are some pics of the early jonquils, some tulips and the early stage of the rinunculi and anemones.

I'm also discovering lots of flowers popping up all over the place in the manse garden. In addition to some amazing daffs and jonquils, there have been bluebells irises, winter roses, and now some freesias, and some rather colourful things that I have no idea what they are, but they look pretty.

The heavens are telling the glory of God

2009-09-27T15:21:00.005+10:00

This afternoon I had a "Life is Beautiful" moment.

I was driving home from Beechworth, on the Buckland Gap Road, listening to Classic FM on the car radio. Geoffery Lancaster (amazingly talented harpsichord/fortepiano etc player and musicologist) was being interviewed, and was asked what was the most memorable or favourite of all the recordings he had made.

He nominated a performance of Haydn's The Creation, in a restored rococo church somewhere in Europe (can't remember where), with an orchestra and chorus whose members read like the most talented musicians in the world. He cited a particular moment in this performance when they were performing the chorus The heavens are telling, and he looked up from his fortepiano to the paintings on the ceiling of the church, and was so moved by the combined beauty of the art, the amazingness of the music (so perfectly performed) that he was overcome with emotion, and was literally crying his eyes out as he played.

They then went on to play that particular chorus (The Heavens are Telling the Glory of God- in German this time) from that particular performance. As the chorus started up on the radio, I began my descent into Buckland Gap.

As I started down the rather steep and winding road, through the black and brown trees (as the Gap was burnt out during the Feb bushfires) I caught a glimpse of a low-slung and somewhat elusive rainbow through the trees.

I caught only a fleeting glimpse, and as I tried again to see it (looking back once I'd turned a bend was not advisable on that road), I couldn't, and was left with a bit of a "did I see that, or just imagine it?" kind of feeling.

The whole scene moved me- the Haydn on the radio, and the elusive rainbow peeking through the desolate trees. The heavens were indeed telling the glory of God at that moment.

Interesting that this morning in church I preached on God's revelation through creation, and I have just started reading a book which explores the concept of theophany (God visiting, or manifesting himself to humans), which has so far been quite intriguing. I think this moment today was my own personal theophany.

It’s interesting what makes you snap

2009-09-19T10:57:00.002+10:00

During the week, I received a mail out from the Synod, which contained a poster advertising an event on “Global Warming and the Love of God”, with John Bell as the keynote speaker. Now I have nothing against the church running events to raise awareness and discuss such issues, in fact, I think it's part of our prophetic role to keep such issues in the minds of everyone (and this is especially timely, given my current focus on the Season of Creation in worship over the next few weeks), and I have the utmost respect for John Bell, who is a fantastic speaker and faithful minister in the church.

However, what made me snap was reading the ‘biographical’ details about John Bell, which included the line: “He does not have a mobile phone, driving licence, camera, i-pod or wife”. Wife?... WIFE?!! I was gobsmacked. The inclusion of ‘wife’ in this list of what appears to be gadgets of the current age that one can be seen as noble for doing without, is surely indicating that whoever wrote this considers a wife to be a chattel.

As a single person, I will be one of the first to advocate that it is not necessary to be married in order to have a good and fulfilling life, (and yes, I confess to occasionally joking about the fact that I need my own wife to do all my domestic chores for me) but there is something about this casual disregard for the value, dignity and humanity of wives that is just plain wrong.

Because I’ve been preparing worship based on the Season of Creation theme, I didn’t pay much attention to the regular lectionary readings for this week, until a colleague mentioned that the Old Testament reading is from Proverbs 31, the “Ode to a capable wife”. At this point, I think I laughed hysterically at the timing of my little snap, and the irony of stumbling across these two, seemingly diametrically opposed views of a wife in the same week.

Perhaps it would be helpful for whoever wrote that biog for John Bell to read Proverbs 31:10-31, “A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels…” (or mobile phones, or cameras, or i-pods).

Selfless spirit

2009-08-13T17:44:00.003+10:00

This morning I had a call from a lady asking me to visit her husband who is receiving palliative care in the local hospital. When the lady told me the name of her husband, I remembered I had actually visited this gentleman once before, not long after I arrived here. During that visit, I had left one of my business cards with him, and it was upon discovery of my card that his wife called me today.

He has had a long struggle with cancer, and is rapidly approaching the end of that struggle. In the course of my conversation with his wife, (who sounded quite distressed on the phone), she explained to me that they were "amicably separated". On my last visit, this man told me that he had chosen to live apart from his wife, in supported accommodation, as he wanted her to be free to live her life, and not to be tied to his illness. I remember thinking at the time that this was a rather selfless gesture on his part, and one that not many people would make.

When I visited him today, he asked me about my conversation with his wife, and if she'd mentioned anything about funeral arrangements. I commented that she sounded understandably upset, and he winced, as if even at this advanced stage of his illness, he was still seeking to protect her.

He said to me, "your job must be taxing, having to have these kinds of conversations with people," but I reassured him that I consider it a privilege to be able to travel with people at such significant times in their lives, when they are often hurting and vulnerable.

It was certainly a privilege to share some conversation and prayer with this gentleman, and I hope I get to see him again.

Vale Keith (25.12.1905 - 20.7.2009)

2009-07-27T12:55:00.006+10:00

This morning I am sad, after receiving word that a dear friend in Hobart died last week.

Keith Welsh died in his sleep in the early hours of last Monday morning, aged 103.

A member of my home congregation in Sandy Bay, I have many fond memories of Keith. In the early days, he would always sit with his mate Jim in church, and being two elderly, and rather deaf gentlemen, their running commentary of the service was rarely as sotto voce as I'm sure they thought it was. (The pair reminded me of Statler and Waldorf, the two old guys who contributed comments from the peanut gallery in the Muppet Show).

When Keith was in his late 90s, I asked him if he was excited about the prospect of reaching 100, and his response was pretty typical:

"You know Caro, I'm not all that fussed about it, but so many other people think it's important, so I suppose I should make an effort!"

When he did indeed reach the ton, his daughter and son-in-law threw a huge and joyful party to celebrate. There were many people there from various eras of his life, and numerous speeches paid tribute to the different aspects of his life: the footballer, the serviceman, the journalist and the churchman.

When I was about to leave for Melbourne, just after he turned 100, I gave Keith another challenge. Since he had made it to his century, I told him his next goal was to aim to be around for my ordination, in 4 years' time. He chuckled, and said,

"I think that might be a bit optimistic Caro".

Nevertheless, every time I have seen him since then, we have continued the countdown.

The last time I saw him was in February this year, and as we realised it was only a year to go, and that he might actually make it, we gleefully started making plans to book a maxi taxi to get him from the nursing home to the church for the ordination service.

Well, it's now three and a half years since I issued him with that challenge, and although he didn't quite make the distance, he came so close- so maybe there's something to be said for optimism after all.

Vale, old friend, enjoy your rest, you deserve it.

woo-hoo! we have shoots!

2009-06-16T23:46:00.002+10:00

This past week or two I have been very excited to see some luscious little green shoots poking their tentative tips up from my pots. Of course, I was so enthusiastic when I planted the bulbs that I forgot to label the pots, so I have no idea what flowers are in what pots... so I guess that will be a surprise to come when the shoots become fully formed plants and then flower.

Can't wait to see how they all look. :-)

We plant the seed, nature grows the seed..

2009-05-18T16:38:00.003+10:00

Well, I may not be quite as bad as the Young Ones (extra points to those of you who picked up the reference in the heading)... but I am relieved to say that I have finally gotten around to planting my bulbs in the pots that have been sitting on my back porch since mid-March.

In a fit of energy and enthusiasm, yesterday afternoon I went to Dahlsens' and bought some potting mix (after carefully consulting with a staff member, who gave me some very helpful advice) and came home to plant the bulbs.

I discovered that I had far too many bulbs for the pots, so I went out today and bought more pots and potting mix, so will have a total of 8 large pots and two smaller, hanging pots, that will hopefully be a wonderful show of colour come springtime.

I will still have some left over bulbs, but will plant these in the front garden bed, which I have been told is quite shallow (created over the concrete of the old church tennis court), but that the anemones and ranunculi should cope there quite nicely, as long as I don't let them get too dry.

I'll have to remember to take photos when they flower, and post them here.

You know you live in a small town when...

2009-05-18T16:32:00.003+10:00

I have run into (figuratively, not literally) my old car not once, but twice around town in the past little while. The first time was in the Myrtleford hospital car park, when I was there to conduct a worship service, and the second was today, when it was parked across the road from my manse.

I suspect the new owner must be a nurse or other staff member at the hospital, who also does some work for the Ovens and King Community Health Centre (which is next door to the manse, in what used to be the old Presy church building).

It's kind of strange to keep encountering the little white Festiva, and having to remind myself that it's not my car any more (even though it still proudly sports my Friends of New Norcia sticker on the back window. I wonder if the new owner has any idea what that means? :-). It's also reassuring to see that it's still going strong, and I hope the new owner is enjoying it.

Warning: I feel a Julie Andrews moment coming on

2009-05-12T12:13:00.003+10:00

The hills are alive with the sound of music!
(ahh- ah-ah-aaahhhh ;-)

As I have been driving around the countryside these past few days, I have so felt like breaking out into song as the beauty of my locale has overwhelmed me.

Driving home to Myrtleford after worship in Yackandandah on Sunday morning was an especially fine treat. The rolling hills around the place have all greened up with a lovely lush carpet of grass after the rain we had around ANZAC Day, and driving on a sunny day, with the small, green hills in the foreground, and the bigger, balder mountains in the background, with the sun hitting at just the right angle to make the mountain backdrop almost gleam, is just too much.

I initially kicked myself that I didn't have a camera to capture the view, but then remembered from past experience, that such scenery is best appreciated in person, as photographs always seem unable to capture that special sparkle that makes it so breathtaking.

So, I am continually thankful that I don't need a camera to capture the views, because I live and work in this funky scenery all the time!

Whatever happened to Caro's Nutrimetics thing?

2009-05-01T18:20:00.004+10:00

For those of you who have known me for a long time, you will remember that quite a few years ago when I was still living in Hobart, I signed up as a Nutrimetics consultant. I did this primarily because I loved the products, and wanted to be able to access them quickly, easily and cheaply.

Then, I got a bit involved in the business side of the company, going to training, where I learned a lot about getting the most out of the products, and also marketing and promotion. So, for a while there, I was full-on into things, actively seeking customers, doing monthly brochure mailouts, doing Nutrimetics 'shows' for friends, as well as potential customers I met through various marketing ventures. I quite enjoyed it all, and made some friends, but eventually, the reality of having a full-time job and lots of other commitments got the better of me, and I had to pull back a bit.

Then, when I moved to Melbourne, as my life took a different direction, I had to let go completely of the 'business' side of my Nutrimetics involvement (but I still have an active account, as I still like to get products for myself).

In more recent times the Nutrimetics company has introduced a new promotional strategy (which I know other direct marketing companies have also had for a while), so 'consultants' such as myself can have a personal Nutrimetics website. After a bit of uncertainty, today I decided to sign up for one of these sites.

What this means is that my friends and family who may have bought product from me in the past (and cursed me when I moved to Melbourne, or later to Myrtleford, because it all became too hard) can now place orders directly through my personal website, and the product will be sent straight to you, rather than having to get it from me.

My personal Nutrimetics website can be found at: http://www.my.nutrimetics.com.au/carofield

This site will be updated regularly by the company with the latest special offers. I don't plan to promote it vigorously (will probably mention it in my next email newsletter, and place a link on my blog home page, but that's all). As I said, I'm no longer actively pursuing the business, and don't do 'shows' (or 'Spa Experience' as they are now called). But I hope that this site will be useful to my friends and family who really like the products and would like to still access their favourites despite not having a local consultant of their own.

My heart overflows with joy

2009-04-12T18:46:00.004+10:00

I have just completed my first Easter as a minister. Having only arrived in my congregations in the middle of Lent, there wasn't a lot of time to plan for Easter worship, look at themes, or arrange anything that I considered particularly creative, but despite that, it's been a wonderful Holy Week and Easter celebration. Because of the number of congregations I have responsibility for, I have been a tad peripatetic during Holy Week, leading Palm Sunday worship at Myrtleford, Maundy Thursday evening at Yackandandah, Good Friday at Myrtleford, and Easter morning at Beechworth and Yackandandah.

On a dark and cold Thursday evening, about 8 of us gathered in the Yackandandah church, to celebrate a simple Maundy Thursday Eucharist and Tenebrae service. It was a special time, as we turned off the lights, and began extinguishing the candles, as we followed the shadows of Jesus' journey to the cross. When the final candle, the Christ candle, was extinguished, the church was in total darkness, and all was utterly silent. It was a confronting and special moment as we sat in silence in the dark together before quietly leaving without the usual social chat that follows Sunday worship. As I was packing up after people had left, one of the congregation leaders told me that as he drove one lady home, she commented that she found the service deeply moving, and wouldn't have missed it.

On Good Friday, we had a number of visitors in Myrtleford, and spent a time of worship slightly more reflective than usual contemplating the cross and what it meant for Jesus to endure it, and die. A slightly "Vicar of Dibley-esque" communication mix up regarding the starting time of this service advertised in different places didn't seem to detract from the worship which was solemn, without being overly dramatic or "slash-your-wrists-depressing".

But of course, the crowning glory was the celebration of the risen Christ this morning. I left home at 6am to arrive on the rock overlooking Beechworth in time for the 6:30 ecumenical dawn service. A group of 50-60 people from the combined churches of Beechworth, and some visitors to the area gathered to proclaim our joy in the risen Christ.

As part of this service, two crepe paper crosses, suspended by helium balloons (see the photos) were released, with a note on them explaining what they were, and inviting whoever found them to contact the churches to let us know where they ended up. One of the crosses released yesterday during the Beechworth Golden Horseshoes festival parade landed about three hours later, in the grounds of an art gallery in Bright.

After this, I celebrated worship and Holy Communion at the Beechworth church, which was interesting. I often find when I'm leading worship that it's hard to gauge how it's going, and whether the worship hits the spot for people in the congregation, but today, after the Beechworth service, I was buzzing. A number of people expressed how much they appreciated the service, which included a visual presence and an explanation of some of the symbols of the resurrection, and I got more and more excited as the service proceeded, as the reality that "Christ has risen, he has risen indeed!" infected me anew.

When I arrived in Yack, to lead worship there (using the same liturgy and sermon; well, as much as any sermon can ever be the same twice), I commented to the church organist that I reckon the Yack folks were pretty lucky today, because after already leading this worship at Beechworth, I was seriously excited and 'pumped' for their service, even more than I was earlier in the morning.

So, despite being now utterly exhausted after a hugely busy week, and day today, I am still excited, and utterly high on the thought of what a privilege it is for me to get to lead this worship with these amazing people on this special day.

Whilst I'm really looking forward to a day off tomorrow, I'm jumping out of my skin with excitement. Have I mentioned before how much I love this job? :-)

more photos

2009-04-06T13:23:00.005+10:00

Some more pictures, from my first Sundays at Myrtleford and Beechworth churches

The classic "mother-daughter shot" taken on my first Sunday at Myrtleford.

Arriving at Beechworth to lead worship, with bolt-cutters in hand. No, I didn't need to storm the barricades after resistance from the locals to the new minister, just returning them to a couple from Beechworth who loaned them to someone at Myrtleford last week. (but seriously, shouldn't every girlie minister have a pair of bolt cutters, just in case? :-)

The 'meet and greet' after church. I look like SUCH a minister!

Moment passed... oh well. (The Vicar of Dibley really is my role model :-)

Around Myrtleford

2009-04-01T08:11:00.009+11:00

I figured it's about time I posted some pictures of the local scenery. More will come, including some pics of Beechworth and Yack, but this first instalment is around Myrtleford.

Welcome to Myrtleford!
This is the scene that greets you as you enter town, coming from Wangaratta on the Great Alpine Rd.

The Big Smoke!
Tobacco was a major industry in Myrtleford up until Phillip Morris pulled out of the area a number of years ago.

The recent bushfires had a significant effect on the local area. This is a common sight along the Yackandandah Rd at Mudgegonga, where the foreground is untouched and green(ish) and you can see the skeletal remains of the burnt out treeline along the ridge of the hill.

Here are the remains of a house burnt out in Mudgegonga on the Yackandandah Rd.

Already, regeneration is starting, as new life sprouts out of charred, burnt trees.

It's been a great week.. or two

2009-03-24T20:19:00.002+11:00

For my morning prayers during Lent this year I have been vascillating between using a daily devotional book written especially for Lent by a Benedictine sister, and the Jesuit Sacred Space prayer book. One of the exercises in Sacred Space this week is to look back over the past 24 hours, and identify things to give thanks for, and things to be sorry for.

I must be having a pretty good week, as I am finding lots of things to be thankful for- so much so that it kind of blows me away- and not much at all to regret or be sad about.

One special moment, not really related to my ministry at all, that I'd like to share happened on Sunday afternoon. After leading worship for the first time at Beechworth and Yackandandah on Sunday morning, I decided to have a wander around the Yackandandah Folk Festival in the afternoon.

I had a pleasant wander around the street stalls, and a lovely lunch with some folk from the Yack congregation, before heading off on my own to take in some of the music.

An amazing thing happened right at the end of the afternoon. A friend from Melbourne was up for the festival, performing with the Men in Suits choir. They had a gig at the end of the afternoon, as the last act in the Yack Courthouse. Because the choir was too large to fit on the Courthouse stage, it was decided that the performance should move outside, with the audience sitting on the grass slope, and the choir standing near the entrance to the Courthouse.

It was a warm afternoon, and it was very relaxing to sit on the grass with everyone else, and listen to the choir singing (much witty and entertaining material, as well as good singing). At one point, it started to rain. Stephen Taberner (the choir director, so those of you familiar with him and the Spooky Men's Chorus will have an idea of the ilk of Men in Suits) shouted at the audience behind him "don't you dare leave!" and noone did.

There was something very special and relaxing about sitting on the grass, feeling the gentle rain (which didn't last for very long, so we didn't get very wet at all) and listening to the music. People walking past also stopped and listened too.

A lovely way to conclude a great weekend.

I'm now officially here

2009-03-15T16:42:00.002+11:00

I'm currently on a high, after having my service of recognition as an intern yesterday afternoon, and celebrating my first service of worship (including my first Eucharist) at Myrtleford church this morning.

Yesterday's service was great. The church was quite full, and in attendance were quite a lot of representatives of the Presbytery, as well as a significant number of friends who had come to celebrate the occasion and support me in the commencement of my ministry. (I calculated that there would have been at least 14 people who came up from Melbourne, and one from my home Presbytery of Tasmania, bringing with her the greetings of the Presbytery, and a tape of recorded messages from friends from the Sandy Bay congregation in Hobart).

It was a very joyful service, and the excitement of the folk from the Myrtleford-Beechworth congregations at finally having me here was palpable (as was my own excitement, but I think you would have already guessed that to be the case).

One friend from Melbourne commented that all the folk from the local congregations who gave speeches of welcome after the service spoke as if they already knew me and were genuinely glad to have me here, knowing all that I could offer, rather than the usual "welcome to the area" kinds of things one would expect.

In fact, one person who spoke on behalf of the Myrtleford congregation (who also happens to be one of the people who lost a home during the bushfires) expressed her thanks for all the support I have already given her and her husband since the fires ... and left me wondering, "what exactly have I done?" Not much, from my reckoning, but whatever it was, she obviously thought it significant. That's the funny thing about pastoral ministry, we can never really tell how significant what we do or say is to people.

After this morning's worship, as I did the 'meet and greet' as people went out to the hall for morning tea, a number of folk commented that they hope I will be around for a long time. So I guess that's encouraging (although I will wait until the 'honeymoon' period is over before I get too excited :-)

But in all, it's been a great start to my ministry in this place, and I'm excited (yes, still excited! :-) And this afternoon also marks the "two down, one to go" point of the three services in three days marathon that marks the start of my ministry (service of recognition yesterday, Sunday worship with Eucharist today and my first funeral tomorrow). I think I'll sleep well tomorrow night.

Typical...

2009-03-11T21:05:00.003+11:00

Well, I haven't even officially started work yet (still in the first fortnight of "settling in" time) and I have been asked to conduct a funeral next Monday afternoon.

This will be the first funeral service I have ever led, and the prospect of it, as I listened to the message on my answering machine this afternoon, struck more than a little fear to my heart. I could have gotten out of it, by claiming either that Monday is my day off, or asserting that I am not supposed to be working till after my service of recognition on Saturday, and so could have fobbed off the responsibility to someone else in this strange interim time.

However, when I spoke to the family representative of the deceased man, I agreed to conduct the funeral, as I figured that this time of grief is not a time to be dithering about marking out boundaries. And even though we have been trained to be vigilant about self-care in ministry, and to watch out for things that eat into time off, I reckon that there are some things (and this is one) where a bit of flexibility is called for in the name of compassion.

So, now I find myself with two services of worship to prepare in the next few days, as well as some pastoral visiting of the family requesting the funeral. Such is life in ministry, and you know what? I'm loving it! :-)

Movin, movin, movin...

2009-02-28T17:54:00.005+11:00

I am very pleased (if somewhat exhausted) to say that I am almost ready for the arrival of the removalists on Monday morning (and it's only Saturday!). Mum and I have been working hard (Mum probably more than me, given that I had to spend a day at a Victorian Council of Churches training day on Thursday, whilst she stayed home and packed up the kitchen. What a woman!), and now it's almost all done.

In fact, today we ran out of boxes, so the nice man from Kents who estimated how many boxes I would need mustn't have looked in some of my cupboards (I am thinking particularly of my Nutrimetics 'warehouse' here).

But anyway, all of the hard work is done, and there is only some easy stuff like clothes and linen and some last minute things (like my laptop!) that need to go into the boxes that the removalists will bring with them when they come on Monday morning.

One of the 'hardships' about having everything packed is that it's not possible to cook meals any more, so Mum and I just have to go out to the pub for dinner tonight... it's such a hard life, especially when the local Bridie O'Reilley's does such a great steak :-)

After the funeral...

2009-02-20T12:31:00.004+11:00

Now I'm home in Melbourne, I've been reflecting a bit on the last few days, and although it's been sad, and was a bit hard being in New Norcia, knowing that Glenn wouldn't be there (as spending time with him had been a significant part of all of my previous visits there), I do feel a sense of peace, and am glad that I went over for the funeral.

I met up in Perth with a friend called Peter, from Sydney, who I had met through Glenn on a previous visit to New Norcia, and we travelled up together in a hire car. When we arrived in New Norcia, Abbot John was waiting for us in the guest house and spent a good hour or so with us, talking about what had happened, and sharing some of the things Glenn had written in the long letter he left for him before he died. That conversation effectively answered most of my questions about Glenn's death, without the need for me to actually ask anything.

Our time in town was a fairly subdued time, but there was something about the inherent peace and sacredness of New Norcia that was very healing for me. Peter and I did some therapeutic polishing of brass in the church vestry on Tues arvo in preparation for the Requiem Mass on Wed, and had an Abbey Ale in the hotel each afternoon we were there. (Sorry BB, I didn't bring any back for you ;-)

The funeral Requiem Mass itself was a beautiful event. Abbot John presided, and his liturgy and homily were stunning, from all angles: liturgical, theological and pastoral.

I thought his most masterful and astute stroke was to make a very firm and unequivocal statement right at the outset about the unconditional love of God, firmly asserting that even though Glenn had committed suicide (and he did use the "S" word a number of times throughout the service, not shying away from it, as happens in some funerals for suicide victims) there was no question of Glenn's standing with God.

After the eulogy, Glenn's sister-in-law, who has suffered from depression for the past couple of years, spoke quite powerfully about the issues surrounding depression, and how important it is for people to talk about it, and get the support of those around them to help them fight it.

All in all, it was a very positive time, even though experienced through tears and sorrow. Abbot John asked Peter and I to participate in the mass by bringing up the bread and wine for the Eucharist. He said that he was wanting to involve as many people from various areas of Glenn's life as possible in the service, but thought it best not to ask us to read, or actually say anything, given how emotional he thought we'd be, and I was grateful for that.

It all went well, and there was a procession from the church to the cemetery a few hundred metres away, and a brief graveside committal. I think the event was a good tribute to Glenn's life, an opportunity to mourn his death, and also a chance to worship and give thanks to God. The church was full to overflowing, with a huge diversity of people there, showing how widely known and loved Glenn is.

Peter and I left New Norcia on Thurs morning, after the usual morning offices and 7:30am mass, which Abbot John dedicated to us, sending us on our way with the prayer and blessing of the community, which was very touching and special. From what John said to us the previous night, I think the community was moved and thankful that we had made the effort to come from the east to stand with them at this difficult time.

Before we left town, we went by the cemetery to say a final farewell at Glenn's grave. So it's been a very intense time, but the overall experience has left me feeling quite at peace (although not looking forward to all the work of packing up and organising myself for the big move).

... on the hop...

2009-02-15T22:41:00.002+11:00

I arrived home in Melbourne from my Tassie holiday tonight, noting the colour of the sky around Melbourne, heavier than the usual Melbourne smog, thanks to the bushfires still burning just out of the city.

Since arriving home I have collected my mail from my next-door neighbour (a huge bundle for only 2 weeks away!), eaten some yummy ( but not very diet- friendly) takeaway fried rice for dinner and have packed another bag for my quick trip to WA for Glenn's funeral.

I will be on the plane at 6:05am tomorrow, and will meet up with Peter, a friend from Sydney, in Perth, and we will drive up to New Norcia together. Glenn's funeral is on Wednesday morning: a Requiem Mass in Holy Trinity Church at New Norcia, followed by a burial in the NN cemetery, and a light lunch afterwards.

Arriving on Monday afternoon, will mean that Peter and I will have the chance to settle into the place, and prepare ourselves emotionally for what will be a very difficult funeral. We'll then stay on Wed night and head back to Perth on Thurs morning.

This means I will be away from Mon morning till Thurs night, which will probably have an impact on my packing and "preparing to move house" program, but it's important to me to go to this funeral of such a dear friend, and I'm sure things will all get done eventually, so I'm not particularly stressed about it (after all, Mum is coming to help with the final stages of moving and packing, so she will certainly whip me into shape!

Double sadness

2009-02-10T16:00:00.003+11:00

I am currently on holidays in Tasmania, but am aware that people may be wondering about what's happening re the current Vic bushfire situation.

I am due to commence my placement in Myrtleford-Beechworth in early March, and so expect to hit the ground running when I get there. At this stage I am conscious that the fires have affected pretty much all of my future parish, with Beechworth, Yackandandah and Stanley especially affected, and I think, still at risk from the current fire situation.

I am also aware that one couple from the Myrtleford congregation have lost their home. I'm not sure if there have been any other losses, but guess I'll find out soon enough.

I am feeling a tad frustrated, as if teels a bit obscene to be here in (Raining) Tassie, having a holiday, whilst my future parishoners are facing such terrible things in the face of the bushfires; but as a wise Presbytery Minister pointed out to me, the time for caring action will come when I get there, so until then, I am keeping the people of the parish (and other fire affected areas) in my prayers, and trying to enjoy my holiday, and recharge, relax and recreate so that when I get up to Myrtleford, I will be of use to the folk there.

On a different, but also sad note, I heard today the tragic news that my dear friend, Dom Glenn Swallow, a monk of New Norcia, took his life over the weekend. This came as an utter shock to me, and to others who knew and loved Glenn. At this stage funeral details are not known, but I am hoping that it will be sometime next week, and am hoping to get to WA for it.

I will write more once I get home and things settle down a bit.

Melbourne is melting

2009-01-29T23:11:00.004+11:00

Melbourne is currently experiencing some kind of record-breaking heatwave, with temperatures the past two days soaring close to 45C (according to the BOM, today's maximum temperature in Melbourne was 44.3C at 4:43pm. Cool, eh? Well... perhaps not... :-/ )

It's days (and nights) like this, that a science geek grrl such as yours truly gets to experience first hand the principle of Physics that hot air does indeed rise. As I climb the stairs of my flat, I can feel the temperature gradient go from "mildly uncomfortable, but quite tolerable" downstairs, to "Hell may not really be physically located in Brunswick, but it sure feels like it," by the time I get to the top of the stairs.

For example, at 11pm last night as I sat at my computer briefly, I noticed that the temperature in my upstairs study was still 35C. The BOM predicted that the minimum temp overnight last night would only get down to 29, but according to the actual readings, it actually got down to 28.7 at 3am- woo-hoo!.

Tonight, as I sit in my study (very briefly) at 11:30pm, I see that the temperature is now 37C, and I can feel the sweat start to trickle down my back. I think it's time to go to bed, and try to sleep... with a heavy duty fan aimed at the bed, in the hope that it won't actually feel like 37 degrees.

If you don't hear from me again, you'll know I melted away (either that, or our area has had to take its turn for the power cuts that are plaguing significant parts of th city).

As I watched a bit of the late news on TV, with a story about the heatwave conditions in Melbourne and Adelaide, bushfires around the state of Victoria etc... immediately followed by an equally dismal story about a snow storm somewhere in the US, I couldn't help but find these conditions to be reminiscent of the apocalyptic situations that were to be found in the plethora of 'beyond the end of the world' kind of movies that came out back in the 70s and 80s (remember the Mad Max movies?).

Maybe life is finally imitating art; or maybe the movie makers really were prophets.

A surprise gift

2009-01-19T14:55:00.002+11:00

Today I received a parcel in the mail, from a friend in the US. I was quite surprised when I collected it from the postoffice, as it was quite heavy for an international airmail parcel (and must have cost a fortune to post).

When I got home and opened the box, I was delighted to find a collection of books, of various shapes and sizes, all individually wrapped in Christmas paper.

As I started unwrapping the parcels, I discovered a lovely collection of books mainly on topics of contemplative spirituality, some of a Benedictine flavour, some by Thomas Merton, and some others by Quaker authors. One of the latter is a history of American Quaker women and feminism, and looks like it will be quite an interesting read.

During the course of my studies, I have been building a frighteningly large collection of "books to read when I finish studying"; various novels (trashy and otherwise) and other books on pastoral ministry, prayer, theology (I will read Moltmann's The Crucified God this year!). However I think some of today's arrivals will enter the "To Be Read" pile quite close to the top.

Happy New Year

2009-01-15T19:37:00.004+11:00

Yes, I know I have been silent in the blogosphere of late, and this is because I have been hot, busy and a tad stressed. Still have my final two essays to finish (by the end of Jan!) and so can't spend much time thinking high and mighty and bloggable thoughts.

So, as a consolation prize to those of you who may have been disappointed at my recent lack of verbiage (man, who am I kidding?! :-) I have updated my profile picture to replace the old one which was taken over three years ago, before I moved to Melbourne, with a more recent pic, that was taken on the day of the UFT valedictory service last October. (Thanks to Susan, the photographer, who sent the photo to me).

I spent Christmas and new year in Sydney with Mum, and managed to catch up with some friends which was very nice, and am looking forward to a further two weeks in Tas in the first half of February, to also catch up with people and generally relax before the onerous task of packing up my flat to move to Myrtleford in early March.

So hopefully, sometime Real Soon Now (TM) I will have the time and energy to blog a bit more. Until then, Happy New Year, and enjoy what's left of the 'holiday period' :-)

Tis the season...

2008-12-17T14:13:00.002+11:00

If the Magi had been really wise, they might have chosen this option for gifts for the Christ child.
:-)

moar funny pictures

Serious cuteness factor!

2008-12-16T15:36:00.001+11:00

Another gem from icanhascheezburger.com

more animals

Caro's Christmas Message

2008-12-14T18:10:00.002+11:00

Yes, time has escaped me again, and I have resorted to a cut and paste to the blog directly from my latest email update (so apologies to those of you who have received the email and thought this might be something new)

Well, it’s that time of year again; the days are longer, the weather warmer, and Christmas is just around the corner. Where did the year go? Well may we all ask.

Executive Summary (more detail below)

* Study stuff - I have received my results for the semester which were reasonable, given the heavy study load I had this semester - still have one reading unit to complete (2 more essays to go) and then the whole degree is finished! Yay J

* I get around, round, get around, I get around - The end of year travel juggernaut has commenced, and last Wednesday I returned from 10 days in WA, most of which was spent in New Norcia. Next Sunday I head off to Sydney for Christmas and New Year, then Tas in the new year, and then moving to Myrtleford in March (after which I think I’ll just stay put for a while). Phew!

* Health stuff - The diet (and weight loss) continues. Now up to a total of 15.9kg (which is approx 2.5 stone in Imperial). Have finally seen an orthopaedic surgeon about my knees, and it looks like there may be surgery in my future- exactly how serious will depend on results of CT and MRI scans I am having next week.

* … and in the New Year - I officially start my placement in Myrtleford-Beechworth on 1st March, although the first fortnight is moving & settling in time. The Presbytery of NE Vic has set the date for my Service of Recognition for the evening of Friday 13th March, and my first Sunday “on deck” will be the 15th.

The Gory Details (for those of you who want it all… make a cuppa, put your feet up, and enjoy :-)

Study and College stuff
This semester I had 4 B.Theol. units (Pastoral Care & Ritual, Continental Reformations, Genesis and Ministry and Sacraments) as well as the Friday Program Dip. Min. unit on Prayer and Spirituality. This was quite a heavy workload, as all units involved classes during semester (as opposed to other semesters when I have had 4 units, but one of these was an intensive for a fortnight at the beginning of the semester, or over a few Saturdays). So this meant my weeks were pretty full, and I found it hard to do more than the basic minimum requirements for each unit. This was reflected in my marks, as for my B. Theol. units I ended up with only one Distinction (in PC & R) and Credits for the rest (and I still haven’t received the results for the Dip. Min. unit).

Even though my marks this semester weren’t quite up to the standard of previous semesters, given the factors of workload and other things I was managing (like the exit/placements process) I am happy to have done as well as I did, and to have those units behind me. Alas, it seems the High Distinction will continue to elude me (as it will be nothing short of a miracle for me to get an HD for my reading unit on Trinitarian Theology! I think even aiming for a D will be optimistic!), so maybe I will need to do another degree sometime in the future (the far distant future) to see if I can crack that final frontier :-)

I get around, round, get around, I get around
Wise Woman Goes West (again!)
I have just returned from a lovely time in WA. Once again it was good to catch up with Adrienne and the Brauns in Perth, and this time I also managed to have coffee with another friend in Perth, Ben, who calculated that it had been about 18 years since we last saw each other. It was delightful to catch up with him over a coffee en route to the airport on my way home.

Of course, the main reason for my visit to the Wild West was to spend time in the monastic community at New Norcia. This time, I deliberately did not take any study material with me, and enjoyed the experience of being immersed in the monastic timetable and lifestyle (with no TV, radio or mobile phone coverage, it was a real retreat!). I was in New Norcia from the Tuesday to Tuesday, and during the weekend in the middle of my stay participated in a formal retreat titled, Growing in the Reverence of God, which explored different aspects of the biblical notion of the ‘fear of God’ and what that means for our personal and corporate devotion and spirituality. For the rest of the time I read (totally for pleasure- 4 books bit the dust during the week!), finished off a cross-stitch project that I hadn’t touched in over three years, did some volunteer work in the monastery archives and museum and of course, spent time in prayer and reflection, which is so easy to do in that environment.

I was telling one of the monks how every time I visit New Norcia God seems to teach me a lesson about patience, tolerance and humility. After settling into the peace and silence of the place for a few days, I found myself getting a bit annoyed when other people would come into the guest house and behave in a loud and (what I considered) unnecessarily boisterous manner (and yes, I am aware that in saying this I am sounding like a grumpy old woman!). One of the general practices in the community is to observe the “Great Silence” from 8pm (after Compline, the final prayer each evening) until 8am (after Mass in the morning) and I always try to observe this silence and so usually take a book with me to read over breakfast, and if anyone is around at that hour (my habit was to have breakfast around 6:15, and most people who didn’t get up for Vigils at 5:15 tended to be still in bed at that time), I would try to avoid eye contact so as not to be engaged in conversation, and just focus on my book. This strategy usually worked, except for one morning, when I just couldn’t avoid being dragged into conversation by a particular woman. At first I felt impatient, and tried hard to cut things short and ‘escape’, but after a while it became apparent that she really did have something on her mind that she needed to talk about, so I settled into ‘pastoral listening’ mode and encouraged her to proceed. I got the impression that I was not the first person (and probably wouldn’t be the last) in whom this woman confided, but she seemed to appreciate the opportunity to be heard.

This experience, and conversations I had with other people during the week, reminded me that people go to New Norcia for all kinds of reasons, and with all kinds of agendas, and none of them are necessarily any more or less valid than any others (so after that I managed to not get quite so stroppy with others).

On a lighter note, I also fell in love during this visit to New Norcia… with a lovely dog called Sandy. Now some of you would be aware that I tend to be more of a cat fancier than a dog lover, but that in thinking of moving to the country, I have been considering getting a dog for company, exercise and security (or at least the appearance of it). When I met Sandy (who was the companion of a rather interesting guy who was also staying in New Norcia), after spending some time with her sitting on my feet, and snuggling up to my lap when I sat on the bench outside the guest house, I thought to myself that I could handle having a dog like Sandy. She is a medium sized Staffy X (not sure what with) and has the most delightful temperament. So, when the time comes for me to actually make a decision about getting a dog, I think I will have to drop a line to the folks at Staffy Rescue, to see if they have any suitable dogs I can adopt.

Sydney here I come!
Next Sunday (Dec 21) I will be heaving on a jet plane (again!) en route to Sydney this time, to spend Christmas and New Year up there with Mum. I’ll be there till Jan 7 (which is almost 3 weeks) and am looking forward to catching up with a few people whilst there (so, Sydney people, feel free to get in touch to book in a time to catch up!)

Heath Stuff
Knees
As you may be aware, I have had persistent problems with my knees for most of this year, and have finally managed to see a doctor about it (What? Me? Procrastinate? :-). The X-rays indicated moderate osteoarthritis in the right knee, and the beginnings of mild OA in the left, as well as a significant lateral deviation of both kneecaps from where they should go when I bend my knees. The orthopaedic specialist was making dark mutterings about the worst case scenario being knee replacements, but she said that I’m too young for her to consider doing this, and so if the CT and MRI scans indicate that my knees are so bad that there isn’t any other realistic option, she said she would consider doing some minor maintenance (which may involve injections and/or minor surgical scrapings to tidy things up inside the joint and maybe take some pressure off) until I’m old enough for her to consider the full knee replacement surgery (I think she said something about needing to be at least 50 for this). So I guess I will have to wait and see.

Weight
As I mentioned above, my weight continues to decrease, and I now find myself in a tricky situation of having shrunk out of many of my clothes (I went to wear a pair of slacks to church this morning and had to go for ‘Plan B’ as they were just far too big, and would have fallen off). I have started to resurrect some of my previous ‘skinny clothes’, but have effectively shrunk out of all of my jeans, so may need to pay a visit to an op shop to get something that fits for this in between phase (as I still have quite a bit more weight to lose, so am reluctant to spend too much money on clothes that fit me now, as I’ll hopefully shrink out of them soon too).

Intern Placement
A couple of weeks ago I attended a meeting of the North East Vic Presbytery (along with Linley and Martin, the other two interns who will be starting placements there in the new year). It was good to meet some of the key people in the Presbytery, and to start talking turkey about dates for a Service of Recognition (to officially welcome me into the placement). Yesterday I also received a copy of the preaching plan for Beechworth, Yackandandah and Stanley for the first half of next year, and it was both exciting and a bit weird to see my name peppered through it. Kind of adds to the feeling that it really IS all happening!

My mind is gradually turning to address a few of the pragmatic things that I need to do in preparation for commencing my ministry up there, and first thing on my list tomorrow will be to ring the Synod removalist to start the ball rolling to arrange a quote and then book a date for the big move. At this stage, if everything lines up with the removalist and the manse availability, I am hoping to shift my worldly possessions as early as possible in the first week of March, so I will have the maximum possible time to unpack and settle in before I start work in earnest on 15th March. Mum’s planning to come down to help with the packing and moving, so that will be great (and she’ll finally be able to get a good look inside the manse, as we could only really do a drive-by and look at the outside when she was visiting last month).

Well, I think that’s enough for now, thanks for your support and friendship. I look forward to hearing news from your neck in the woods, so please keep in touch. I hope that you have a happy and holy time this Christmas, and manage to take time to reflect on the significance of the season beyond the hype and busyness and commercialism.

Caroxxoo

The last few days...

2008-11-14T14:26:00.003+11:00

Earlier this week, Mum and I took a trip to Myrtleford, where we stayed at the very lovely Myrtle Creek Farmstay cottages, (owned by a couple from the Myrtleford congregation), and spent a couple of days exploring the local area around Myrtleford, Beechworth and Yackandandah, so Mum could get an idea of where I will be living and working next year.

The locals put on a couple of "meet the new minister" events, a dinner at Myrtleford and a lunch at Beechworth, and it was great to meet some of the other folks from the congregations (after having only previously met a few people who were on the Joint Nominating Committee). The fplk at Myrtleford apparently spent a lot of time convincing Mum that they will look after me when I move up there (but hey, isn't it my job as their minister, to look after them?!) and she was very impressed with how nice and welcoming everyone was.

We ate lots (well, you know, country hospitality, I couldn't very well be a diet nazi in the face of such hospitality) and I even allowed myself to sample the wares of the Beechworth Bakery when we were wombling around town, doing a bit of retail therapy.

So, I can really relate to this cute pic from the I can haz Cheezburger website, which obviously understands my recent diet dilemmas :-)

more animals

A brief update... as shared with some via email

2008-11-10T17:17:00.002+11:00

The end of the academic year has arrived, and I have almost finished all of the requirements of my degree and formal “core training” for the ministry. This update will therefore be quick, and only in Executive Summary form, as life is still busy. Once I am officially on holidays, I will wax more lyrical and verbose :-)

Executive Summary

* Study stuff -Although the UFT semester has officially finished, I still have 4 more assessment tasks to complete. These are two pieces from the current semester, for which I have a Dean’s extension until next Monday: a creative assignment for my Genesis class, and a report and theological critique on an interview I conducted with a hospital chaplain for my Pastoral Care & Ritual class. The other two essays are for a reading unit on Trinitarian Theology, which was extended from first semester into a summer reading unit, and these will hopefully be off my plate by Christmas. The last week of the official semester (ie, last week) was very busy and stressful, but I survived it and managed to get everything done (miracles DO happen!).

* Valedictory! – Last Friday was the Uniting Church Theological College Valedictory, where the college community celebrates the end of the academic year, and sends out the students who are exiting for the year. We had a service of worship, which was a lovely celebration, in which all three of us who were exiting (the Three Wise Women) took part, and received a crackingly good sermon from Robert Gribben, who is also leaving the college when he retires at the end of the year. In the past two years, this has become a significant event in the life of the college, with invitations to various representatives from the Synod and Presbyteries, as well as family and friends of the college community.

Mum came down for the occasion, and is staying with me for a week. After the worship, we had the Valedictory Dinner, which was great. The food was good, the company great, and our fellow candidates in lower years prepared a great program of fun and farewell (including a reading of a very profound, but little known theology text, by Dr Seuss- and the valedictorians were presented with copies of this book!), so that we came away from the night feeling well sent out with love and prayer. It's so hard to believe that this is it!!!

* This week – Mum is being very patient, as I need to spend a fair bit of time working on assignments, but tomorrow we are heading to Myrtleford for a couple of days in the area of Myrtleford and Beechworth, and the local congregations there are arranging a couple of “meet the new minister” events, so I’m looking forward to meeting some of the folk I will be working with from March, and traipsing around the area with Mum, so she can get an idea of where I'll be living and working.

* Holidays! – I have mentioned in previous emails my plans for various trips around the place, to Perth & New Norcia, Sydney for Christmas, and Tas in Feb, so won’t go into detail, except to say that in early Oct I received the sad news of the death of the Abbot of New Norcia, Fr Placid Spearrit. Placid’s death was quite unexpected, and came as quite a shock to the community of New Norcia, and all the friends of New Norcia around the country. A small group of people who have connections with New Norcia gathered in Melbourne for a memorial service a week or so ago, and I was glad to be able to attend that, and look forward to catching up with the monks in New Norcia when I’m there next month. It’s a weird thing, to think of New Norcia without Placid, who was a huge force for positive change during his time as superior of the community there, and I will always regard him as a great role model of the kind of servant leadership I hope to practise in my own ministry.

* Hospitality and visitors - There have been a few people from Tassie passing through Melbourne recently, and it’s been great to catch up with them-especially at times when I was feeling overwhelmed and busy, it was great to be able to take a little time out for a coffee (decaf, of course!) which helped me to focus a bit better when I got back into the work.

* Health - I finally got around to pinning down my GP to examine my knee, and she has ordered x-rays, and plans to refer me to an orthopod to get it checked out properly… not sure what this will mean, maybe surgery, will have to wait and see… and speaking of ‘wait’ (or ‘weight’ :-) I am still beavering away on my diet, and have now lost just under 15kg, and there is a distinctly noticeable difference in how I look, which stunned Mum when she arrived, and various people at the Valedictory who hadn’t seen me for a while also commented. So I am feeling good, even amid the stress and busyness of the pointy end of semester.

Roll on holidays! :-)

Busy, busy, busy

2008-11-03T18:32:00.003+11:00

I haven't blogged for a while because I have been (and continue to be) squished under the weight of assignments, exams and other academic pursuits that I need to deal with before I can be FREE!

But I had to have a whinge today, as I was up late last night working on an assignment that was due in today, and after dragging myself out of bed, still sleep-deprived, to put the finishing touches on said assignment, and then print it out to submit, disaster struck.

What is it about computers and photocopiers that they seem to have a sixth sense, and can tell when you are stressed, and working to a deadline, and so pick the most awkward moment to spit the dummy? Today as I was printing out the numerous and varied components of this particular assignment, trying to be very systematic and not forget to print any of the parts ... about 2/3 of the way through, the printer apparently ran out of ink.

No problemo, as I whipped out my trusty cartridge refill kit, and proceeded to top up the black cartridge...

Yes problemo, as the wretched thing still wouldn't print... I tried every trick in the book to get it to work: realigned the cartridges, did a maintenance cleaning cycle, even administered mouth to mouth on the cartridge (to blow the ink down, to get it flowing again)... all to no avail!

So, about to lose it, I decided to take desperate measures, and ran out to the car, drove to Officeworks and BOUGHT a new cartridge. Thankfully, this fixed the whole printer issue, so the printer was able to resume printing where I left off... until...

One particular document just wouldn't open to be printed, and of course, this was the main overview of the whole project, so I couldn't get away without it. Somehow in the process of transferring it from my laptop (which is a better, faster computer that I use downstairs to do all the work on) via USB drive to the desktop computer (which is slower, clunkier, but attached to the internet and printer, upstairs), something weird happened, and it wouldn't open. And as if that wasn't enough, for some reason I had lost a significant chunk from the document on the laptop, which I then had to quickly try to recreate (grrrr), and then after a few unsuccessful attempts, had to find another USB drive and transfer it on that, which thankfully worked...

But all this mucking around meant that I wasted a good hour or more that I really can't afford (and heaven knows how my blood pressure fared in the process)... oh well, at least that assignment is now all printed out and submitted... One down... 4 more to go (including two essays, a written exam and an oral assessment) ... all by Friday.

So Friday, being the day of our College Valedictory celebrations, is definitely going to be a royal Stuff the Diet Day*, and I think I really will need to drink a lot of alcohol at the Valedictory dinner, to celebrate the almost-end of all this study, and surviving to the end of this week!

*and for anyone wanting an update on the diet, I've now lost about 14kg... which is a bit over 2 stone in Imperial

... and so the Year of Firsts is complete

2008-10-16T09:31:00.005+11:00

Today is the first anniversary of my father's death.

In some ways, the time seems to have flown by so quickly, but in others it's dragged.

So today marks the end of the official "Year of Firsts" for Mum and me: the first birthdays, Christmas, anniversary, Fathers' Day etc without Dad. We have both been blessed to have a great deal of support from people who love us, and from each other, during this past year, and for that I'm very grateful.

Rest in peace Dad.

for the geographically challenged

2008-10-15T18:25:00.006+11:00

OK, so I've had a few comments from people who don't know where Myrtleford, Beechworth or Yackandandah are.

Hopefully this map should help. Basically, from Melbourne, one heads up the Hume Freeway towards Sydney until you hit Wangaratta, and then branch off either to Beechworth and Yackandandah, or Myrtleford.

(and if you don't branch off, and keep heading up the Hume, you will hit Albury about an hour after Wangaratta)

Finally- it's all officially official!

2008-10-14T15:55:00.005+11:00

Picture a rooftop...
...now picture me shouting from said rooftop...

I am now - finally - able to spread far and wide the exciting news that I have just accepted a Call to a Ministry Intern placement in the linked congregations of Myrtleford- Beechworth, commencing on 1st March 2009.

Myrtleford church

(As a ministry intern, I will effectively be THE minister for these congregations, although I won't be ordained until I complete the requirements of the intern phase, which will take about a year. As an intern, I will most likely be licenced by the Presbytery to preside at the sacraments of baptism and holy communion in the context of this placement, as well as being authorised to conduct weddings.)

This placement is in the Presbytery of North East Victoria, and it is doubly exciting, because two of my colleagues, Linley and Martin, have also accepted calls to Intern placements in the same Presbytery. (Linley and I have already worked out the halfway point between our two patches, where we can meet up for coffee; and have ideas in mind for "retail therapy" and "tourist" excursions around Beechworth and Bright for some of our days off... what? us? excited? :-)

My ministry will involve responsibility for three congregations (Myrtleford, Beechworth and Yackandandah) and a smaller preaching place (Stanley)- although I understand that there is a lay preacher who usually looks after worship at Stanley. These congregations are very typical of Uniting Church congregations (ie smallish and ageing), but I am very excited by how outward-looking they all are, and the level of involvement in the local communities they all have, and the amount of cooperative ecumenical work they do with other churches in the area (and I think they are excited that I'm excited :-).

And of course, the area is stunningly beautiful (almost as nice as Tasmania! Yes... you can take the girl out of Tassie, but... ;-).

Beechworth church

I will be living in Myrtleford, which is about half an hour from Wangaratta (the closest major regional centre) and an hour from Albury (the closest airport), and three hours drive from Melbourne (or 3 hours on the train from Wang to Melb).

Beechworth is a fairly major tourist town, very historical (the best preserved Gold Rush town in Vic).

The general area is part of the "High Country", very close to the Vic snow fields, smack in the middle of winery territory, and it seems to be "Festival Central" with the local region hosting the Beechworth Celtic Festival, Myrtleford Festival, Yackandandah Folk Festival (and of course, the Wangaratta Jazz Festival just up the road!) just to name a few, as well as some incredible looking venues for food and wine across the region (ranging from the award-winning Beechworth Bakery to outrageously expensive Fine Dining and everything in between). So it's lucky I will be living in a 4BR manse, as I anticipate (and encourage!) lots of visitors!

I have also discovered that a fellow ex-pat Taswegian, who I used to sing with in TUMS many years ago, is now a magistrate in the region, so I am looking forward to catching up with him when I move up there.

So, now you know- the secrecy is over, and you can understand why I have been so excited!

Yackandandah church

By the time I start there in early March, the placement will have been vacant for almost 2 years, so the good folk of Myrtleford, Beechworth and Yack are understandably excited as they look forward to finally getting a minister to call their own. So I think there will be a fair bit of mutual bouncing off walls with excitement in the early stages of my time there.

Mum will be coming down to Melbourne for the Theological College Valedictory celebrations in early November, and staying with me for a week, and during her stay we will travel up to Beechworth and spend a couple of days checking out the local area, so she can get a feel for where I'll be living and working. During this visit, the folk from the 3 congregations are planning to organise a "meet the new minister" social event so members of the congregations can put a face to the name whilst they're waiting for me to arrive and start work. It will be nice to get to meet some of the people before I move in.

If you are curious about the local area, you might want to check it out at:

http://www.travelvictoria.com.au/myrtleford/

http://www.travelvictoria.com.au/beechworth/

http://www.travelvictoria.com.au/yackandandah/

First kiss of summer...

2008-10-12T18:59:00.003+11:00

... by the sun, that is!

This weekend Brunswick UC had our annual church camp, which is always a great time for fellowship, (and some relaxation space to help get perspective on current workloads!).

Despite advice on the camp form to bring a sun hat etc, I didn't bother, as I wasn't expecting to be outdoors very much (and anyway, the weather has been a bit dim recently).

When I got home this afternoon, and looked at myself in the mirror for the first time, I noticed a happy glow of mild colour on my cheeks, decolletage and forearms (ie all the areas of skin that were exposed to the sun today as we spent part of our worship time outside).

So it looks like I'll have to remember to slip, slop, slap from now on if I'm going to go outside- summer is really coming! :-)

Vale, Abbot Placid

2008-10-06T13:12:00.004+11:00

I received news this morning that Fr Placid Spearritt, Abbot of the Benedictine community of New Norcia WA, died suddenly on Saturday afternoon (UK time). Abbot Placid was visiting Ampleforth Abbey on his way home from some meetings in Italy, when he collapsed and died, after feeling unwell on Friday. He had just recently turned 75.

After meeting him on my first visit to New Norcia, I looked up to Abbot Placid as a wise monk, scholar and servant of God; and see his servant leadership as a role model that I hope to be able to emulate in my own ministry.

However, despite the shock and sadness at news of his death, I can't help but smile at the thought that Placid's death was consistent with his life: straight to the point, and no mucking about.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the community of New Norcia at this very sad and difficult time.

Ordination! (no, not mine)

2008-10-05T17:31:00.003+11:00

My good friend Avril was ordained as a Minister of the Word today at the Church of All Nations, Carlton.

It was a very inspiring service, as the very large congregation witnessed an account of the steps that Avril has taken to get to this point in her ministry; a cracking sermon by Robert Gribben which very adeptly encompassed the theology of ordination; and Avril's ordination vows with the climactic moment of ordination as the representatives of the Presbytery laid hands on her and prayed for the gift of the Holy Spirit to empower her ministry. The celebration was made complete as we shared the Eucharist together.

I'm sure that once she recovers, Avril will have lots to say about the occasion in her own blog :-)

... watch this space...

2008-09-27T10:11:00.005+10:00

On Thursday I travelled to parts as yet unable to be disclosed, in the Victorian countryside, for a meeting yesterday morning with the Joint Nominating Committee to have a 'conversation' about the possibilities of me being the next minister in that patch.

Well, the meeting was very positive, (and yes, I'm even more excited now than I was before) and we have agreed that the process can move forward. So now I have to wait for an official call to be issued by the Placements Committee for me to minister in that place, and once I have received and accepted the call, I can disclose where it is.

After the meeting, members of the JNC showed me around the area, and we checked out the church buildings and manse, all of which are rather nice (and I will have plenty of spare room for visitors once I am settled there!), and my mobile phone even works in the area (I was a bit concerned about this, as the Optus GSM network is notorious for poor coverage in rural areas, but I have nothing to worry about there :-)

So watch this space, as I expect I will have official news Real Soon Now!

UPDATE- Mon 29 Sept
I have been informed by the Secretary of the Placements Committee that at the next Placements Committee meeting (on 10 Oct) he will be proposing that an official call be issued, so we will all have to be patient until after that date before I can do any shouting from rooftops. (Two whole weeks! However will I cope!? :-/ )

You know it's nearly summer when...

2008-09-24T09:04:00.003+10:00

Last night I spotted my first cockroach of the season... crawling up the drainpipe of the handbasin in the downstairs toilet. After a failed swat with a rolled up junkmail catalogue, I resorted to a quick spray of Baygon around the littlest room in the house.

Note to self: put cockroach baits on the list for the next shopping trip.

Damned mainland vermin!

Excitement knows no bounds

2008-09-23T17:58:00.004+10:00

After some constipation in the Australia Post system, which caused me to wear a track to my mailbox every day since last Thursday, I finally received the profile for my prospective placement in the mail today, and let me tell you, if you thought I was excited before... I am virtually uncontainable now! :-)

Over a leisurely lunch, I spent an hour or so going over the profile with a fine tooth comb and noting all the questions I need to ask the Joint Nominating Committee when I meet with them on Friday. The list of ministry priorities in the placement profile are very close to the priorities I listed in my personal profile, so it is feeling like a pretty good match on that score. The profile also told me that the church members have a high level of involvement in the local community (and have stated a desire for more), very warm ecumenical relations, and a number of joint activities with the other churches in the area that seem to happen through the year.

The Presbytery Minister for that presbytery said to me that she thinks I will have a very interesting ministry there, and I think she's right... there is a lot happening in the placement that excites me, and I feel that I could fit in very well with all of that. But the placement has been vacant for a while, so I imagine by now some of their key people will be pretty tired. They also have some hopes and dreams for building on what they have and adapting to change in the local area, which I think will stretch me a bit as I try to help and equip them to realise these goals. So, I think it will be a great opportunity to work alongside these faithful folk to help them grow, and be strengthened as the people of God in their part of the world. (And I reckon I'll probably learn just a few things from them, too! :-)

So now I just can't wait to get out there, see the place and meet the people.

More steps...

2008-09-17T17:02:00.009+10:00

On Sunday night, just after I got home from Queen's chapel, I had my first contact from the Joint Nominating Committee (JNC) of the placement I have been asked to have conversations with.

The woman who called me is the convenor of the JNC, and from one of the neighbouring congregations in the same presbytery, and she sounded just as excited as I to make contact. She told me the placement has been vacant for quite some time, so they are delighted to finally have someone to talk to as a potential minister.

The JNC met this morning, and the convenor rang me from the meeting to set up a time for me to come and meet with the JNC. So next week I will be heading to the country, to meet with the JNC and check out the relevant local sights (like the manse, the church, and the local area) whilst I'm there.

The profile document should arrive in the mail either tomorrow or Friday, as the JNC wanted to review the profile and add some information before sending it to me, as they said some things have changed since they originally wrote the profile. So more excitement in store! :-)

Car!

2008-09-17T17:02:00.008+10:00

In preparation for the big trip to the country to visit my potential new placement next week, I figured that I should get my rear into gear and put my car in for a service (it's been over a year since the last one, I hope my former mechanic in Hobart isn't reading this!), and also to have a rear wheel bearing replaced (which I am assuming is on the opposite side to the one that was replaced when I was on placement in Launceston about 18mths ago).

I am lucky enough to have a Goodyear service centre just a few hundred metres up the road from me, so, after being a little underwhelmed after using a mobile mechanic for the last service, I thought I would use this place this time round and see how it goes. When I dropped the car in this morning, and reminded the guy about the wheel bearing, he asked me what made me think I needed a wheel bearing replaced?

My very technical response, "because it's making the noise cars make when a wheel bearing is on the way out." (sometimes it seems that mechanics really do think women are stupid when it comes to cars, but I'm sure my response impressed him :-)

Anyway, I left the car, with the expectation that the day's work would cost me in the ball-park of around $350. (you can guess what's coming, can't you?).

Later in the morning, I received a call from the mechanic, telling me that both my rear tyres are very worn, and really need to be replaced. I was a little surprised, as I tend to keep an eye on the tyre wear, and hadn't noticed they were particularly bad... but I have been a bit vague about such things lately, so, after asking how much extra this would cost, I asked him to go ahead.

About an hour before I was due to collect the car, I had another call. This time, bearing news that when he was replacing the wheel bearing, the mechanic had noticed that the rear axle was bent. "This would explain why your tyres are worn, as a bent axle really causes you to chew through tyres". When he said that, I remembered how frequently I've needed to replace tyres since I've had this car, and now suspect that the axle must have been bent all this time, and this was the first mechanic to notice it.

He told me that it would be a waste of money to put new tyres on the car if the axle wasn't replaced too. So, with fear and trepidation, I once again asked him the $ question. He replied that the cost of the part, and fitting, would be between $450-500. So all up, I'm going to have to fork out around $1000 this week on my car.

Interestingly, I had been thinking seriously about getting a new car when I move to the country- especially if I end up needing to do lots of driving- as something with a little more power might be more comfortable to drive than my current little baby, which is a whole 1.3 litres of pure "grunt" (because that's what it does when it has to go up steep hills- it grunts and groans a bit).

However, after spending this much on the car, I might just hold onto it for a bit longer (after all, it does have fantastic fuel economy), and so I struck a compromise and joined the RACV instead (it's only taken me nearly 3 years to get around to joining!). I guess next week's trip from Melbourne out to meet with the JNC will give me an indication of how well the car will cope with that particular trip, which may end up becoming a fairly regular route for me next year.

Today's sermon

2008-09-14T17:18:00.002+10:00

Today, I preached my second-last sermon as a ministerial candidate (which will be revisited tonight at Queen's Chapel). My final sermon as a candidate will be preached to the unsuspecting folk in the Riddells Creek and Mt Macedon congregations in late November. After that, the next time I preach or lead worship, it will be as an intern in my new placement next year!

So, to celebrate this auspicious moment (and because I actually had to write out a full script for this sermon, which I don't usually do, as Brunswick UC like to circulate the sermons as part of the weekly email newsletter) I thought I would put it up here for posterity.

Focus on Matthew 18:21-35

On Thursday last week, the world marked the 7th anniversary of the terrorist events that have come to be known collectively as “9/11”. On September 11th, 2001, approximately 3000 people were killed as a result of coordinated terrorist activities in the United States on that day.

I’m sure that we can all remember where we were on that day, when the news of the attack first reached us. I was in Sydney, visiting my parents, and have vivid memories of sitting with my mother in the lounge room, glued to the TV as amateur video footage showed first one plane, and then a second, flying into the Twin Towers, and bringing the World Trade Centre crashing to the ground.

As the Australian TV channels took copious hours of live feed from American TV news services, I remember also being somewhat amused (in a black and macabre kind of way- or perhaps a very Australian and cynical way) as all of the American news readers and commentators expressed such astonishment and disbelief that anyone could possibly want to do this heinous thing to America- because, “doesn’t the whole world LOVE the United States?”

As more detail of the attacks gradually came to light, and it became evident that it was indeed a coordinated campaign of terrorism, the world waited with bated breath for an official response from the US President.

At that time, I remember thinking (in one of my more prophetic moments), wouldn’t it be a powerful statement if the President could come out and say something along the lines of:

This terrible act has caused significant pain and grief to our country, and the world is shocked and saddened by this senseless loss of life.

But I say to the perpetrators of this deed, we will not sink to your level, and will not retaliate in acts of violence, or by seeking retribution for this bloodshed. Instead I say to you that we forgive you, and may God have mercy on your souls.

Of course, this didn’t happen, and for the 7 years since then, we have been living with the consequences of the so-called ‘War on Terror’. I knew it wouldn’t happen, but can you imagine what world politics would look like today if it had? What a potent and remarkable gesture it would have been for the nation whose currency bears the words, “In God we trust” to publicly forgive its enemy.

Our Gospel reading today talks about forgiveness. It opens with a 2-verse vignette of a dialogue between Peter and Jesus, as Peter asks, “Lord, how often should I forgive? Seven times?” Jesus’ response (depending on which translation we read) is that Peter should forgive 77 times, or 70 x 7 times. Whichever way we look at it, this is quite extravagant, and could even be seen as somewhat hyperbolic.

It is no accident that this follows straight on from the passage listed in last week’s revised common lectionary, about pointing out the faults, and correcting those in the church who sin against us.

It seems to me, that this 2-verse vignette that begins today’s reading is deliberately placed after last week’s section, in order to remind the community that when they do point out the faults of brothers and sisters who have sinned against them, they should do so in a spirit of compassion and mercy, being gentle and ready to forgive.

As we move on to consider the parable in today’s Gospel, we can see that the analogy of the forgiveness of debt in the parable is a good one for considering forgiveness generally. When someone is owed a debt, that gives them power over the debtor. If someone is in debt to me, there is a sense that they owe me something, which sets up a power dynamic in that relationship, and so the act of forgiving a debt means relinquishing that power.

Bill Loader refers to forgiving as a form of giving, because in forgiving someone (whether of a monetary debt, or some other kind of debt) we are in fact giving something of ourselves, and not holding back in that relationship. There is no longer a power dynamic. We all know that it’s not healthy to hold onto things like grudges or bad feelings towards someone who has hurt us, either for us, or for the other person, so to forgive is ultimately good for all concerned. Of course, the ultimate role model of forgiveness is God’s self-giving through the gift of the Son.

In our parable the extravagance of God’s forgiveness is indicated by the ridiculously huge debt owed by the first slave to the king- 10,000 talents!

When we consider that a labourer in those days would have to work more than 15 years to earn talent, it is obvious that for a slave to rack up a debt of 10,000 talents would have been a sheer impossibility. The reason why the Gospel writer uses this over-the-top figure is to distract the reader from the content of the story, to consider the meaning behind the story: God’s generous and extravagant forgiveness, freely given, so no sin is too big, nor is there any upper limit on the number of times God will forgive- as shown by the equally extravagant “77 times” (or “70 x 7 times”) in verse 2; and also emphasising the spirit of generosity that should characterise our forgiveness to others.

This is certainly good news for us all… but the story does have a sting in the tail. Whilst it is certainly true that God’s forgiveness towards us is a pure act of God’s love and generosity - nothing we can do can earn that gift- it is also true that God expects us to ‘pay it forward’- in response to the good things that we have received from God, as an outflowing of our own joy and gratitude, we in turn initiate random acts of kindness to others, so they can also benefit. So, after experiencing the freedom and grace of God’s forgiveness to us, an appropriate response would be to also forgive others, out of a sense of joy and gratitude, not of compulsion.

There is something relational about forgiveness, because God’s forgiveness of sin is not just about saying “sorry” for our sins, as this misses the whole point of the Gospel. Just as the Hebrew concept of “shalom”, peace, is not just about the absence of conflict, but rather is about the positive and palpable presence of wholeness and wellbeing, in the same way, the concept of forgiveness is not just about the absence or removal of sin, but about a positive presence of restoration and wholeness. God forgives us so we can be restored into full relationship with him, and in that relational process, we become whole.

For this to happen, we need to be aware that forgiveness is also costly, both for the person who forgives (because they have to give something up) and also for the one who is forgiven (who has to first of all acknowledge that there is something that needs to be forgiven, and thus put aside the lies, delusions and masks to allow forgiveness to happen).

It is also tempting for us to focus only on God’s generosity, grace and the free gift of forgiveness, but in doing this we fail to recognise the value, and indeed, the costly nature of forgiveness and grace. This is why the apostle Paul made the comment in Romans 6:1, after a lengthy discussion about God’s grace being manifest in forgiveness, he asks, “so what shall we do then? Continue sinning so that grace may abound? BY NO MEANS!”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer describes this attitude, where we fail to fully appreciate the cost of God’s grace as ‘cheap grace’, and points out that we need to recognise that even though we don’t need to do anything to deserve God’s grace, it is not cheap, but is, in fact, quite costly. Costly to God… costly to God’s Son.

As we learn to appreciate that cost of God’s generous grace and forgiveness, how could we NOT want to respond, and emulate the example set for us by our loving, self-giving God?

Weight update

2008-09-14T17:12:00.002+10:00

I thought I should make a brief mention of my weight loss progress, as a few weeks have passed since my last mention of this topic.

I have now lost about 9kg (although official weigh-in day is tomorrow, and I have had a couple of little "stuff the diet" moments this week).

For the past fortnight or so, I have been able to comfortably wear one pair of jeans that I couldn't fit into before I started dieting, and two other pairs of jeans which were already a little loose, are now unwearable, as they just fall down. When I was in Hobart a couple of weeks ago, I bought a belt in a "Salamanca retail therapy moment" but it is still a little small, so it will take a few weeks before I shrink into it.

(but after that it will be very helpful in keeping my modesty intact, and my trousers up! :-)

Next Steps...

2008-09-14T17:02:00.002+10:00

On Friday morning, along with 3 other exit students, I made a brief presentation to the Synod Placements committee in preparation for their prayerful deliberation on matching each of us with a potential intern placement to commence next year. Prior to making our presentations, the 4 of us were invited to join the committee for their opening worship, which included the Old Testament passage from this Sunday's lectionary (Exodus 14:19-31) which told the story of the Israelites' escape from Egypt across the Red Sea, and subsequent drowning of the Egyptian army that was pursuing them

This led the 4 us (who were feeling just a tad on edge at the time) to discuss amongst ourselves whether at that particular point we identified more with the Israelites or the Egyptians... either way, we decided that for this occasion, we should change our collective descriptor from "exit students" to "Exodus students", which felt quite fitting.

Anyway, our presentations all went well, and we then left the meeting to debrief over an early lunch together... counting down the hours/minutes until we would receive the phone call to inform us of what placement the committee thought would be a good match.

I have been bouncing off the walls with excitement (even more than usual!) since about 5:30 Friday night, after hearing about the place I have been asked to have a conversation with. Whilst I can't disclose specific details at this point in the process, I can say that it is a placement in country Victoria, which is what I was both expecting and hoping for.

After a bit of preliminary internet research about the local region on Friday night, I can't wait to get there for a visit. (And it also looks like a lovely place for entertaining visitors who want a relaxing retreat from the city! :-)

So, the next steps will be that I will receive a copy of the placement profile in the next few days, so I can check out the details of the placement, and their specific ministry priorities, as well as some of the logistics about the people and place. Soon after that I will be contacted by a rep from the placement's Joint Nominating Committee to arrange a time for me to meet with the JNC, have a look around the church, the manse and the local area, and commence our conversations.

So, depending on how soon the JNC and I can get together, and if the conversations go well, I may have some official news sometime in the next few weeks- at which point I will definitely be shouting it from the rooftops (and this blog, of course! :-)

(although a cheeky friend from Tasmania reckoned that Allan Thompson would be sure to beat me to the punch and spread the word across the Tas Presbytery before I had a chance to do any shouting from rooftops :-)... but either way, once it's all official, the word will get to you!

So now, I have to come down to earth and work on a couple of essays that are due. (sigh)

Up and Down

2008-08-25T13:11:00.004+10:00

Today I am both up and down.

Up- because I have been officially ticked off... well sort of.

On Saturday I made a presentation to my home Presbytery in Hobart, whose task it was to discern whether they consider me ready to move on from my current core training at college to an intern placement in the new year. After my presentation, and some deep questions from the floor, I left the room whilst the Presbytery deliberated and made their decision. When I returned to the room, I was told that the Presbytery "unanimously, enthusiastically, and with great excitement" approved my readiness to move into an intern placement next year... so since then I have been feeling pretty excited and very UP!

Down- because there is less of me than there was a month ago

After 4 weeks on the diet that I mentioned a while ago, I have now lost 7.2kg (which in Imperial is a pound or two over a stone). So, my weight is going DOWN, and I am feeling GOOD! :-)

Dummy spit

2008-08-11T12:05:00.002+10:00

Whilst it may be true that Jesus said it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles (according to Matt 15:11, in the prologue to this week's Gospel reading), but what goes into the mouth certainly does have an impact on one's weight.

A month or two ago, after struggling with painful knees and other side-effects of the fact that I was then heavier than I have ever been, I had a dummy spit about my weight. Those of you who have known me for a long time will realise that this is a good thing, because no matter how much people (eg mother, doctors etc) nag me about my weight, or patiently cajole or explain why it's not good to be carrying so much excess baggage, it is not until I have my own personal dummy spit that I will actually take serious action to do anything about it.

So, the dummy spit happened, and I decided that I needed to take things in hand and actually lose weight. I had joined the local gym a year ago, but due to problems with my knees, busy-ness, and various other excuses (some valid, and some a tad thin) it's been a while since I last went to the gym. So, I decided I need to do something about my diet.

I had been eyeing off the Tony Ferguson program for some time (as it's advertised to death on TV), and after checking out the details of the science of what this involves, I took the plunge and ordered the meal replacement shakes, vitamin supplements and other things required to start on the program, with the intention of starting on it when I returned home from my sojourn in WA.

So, a fortnight ago, I started, and said goodbye to my erstwhile staples of caffeine, pasta, rice, caffeine, potatoes, noodles and caffeine. I have been drinking lots of water (which made me realise how little water I had been in the habit of drinking in the past), herbal teas, and the occasional decaf coffee (although I did get a response of, "why bother?" from a waitress the first time I ordered a 'decaf latte with skinny milk')

However, after a fortnight, the news is good. The caffeine withdrawals were mercifully (and surprisingly) brief and mild, I have not been at all hungry on the program, and as of today, I have lost a total of 4.2kg, which is pretty good for my first two weeks.

I have also developed quite a taste for kangaroo meat, after trying some after chancing upon it in the 'gourmet' meat section of the supermarket a few weeks ago. It is quite tasty (almost sweet) and very tender and lean, which is good for the diet.

So, with such an auspicious start, I am hoping to lose around 25-30kg by the end of the year, and will undoubtedly make various references to my progress in this esteemed blog (although I don't really want to turn the blog into a "diet diary", so will spare you most of the gory details).

It's all about ME! :-)

2008-08-01T18:10:00.002+10:00

Well, maybe not, but sometimes it feels like it- check out this picture!

It was taken on my recent visit to the West, as my friend Adrienne and I were travelling from Perth to New Norcia. She wanted to show me a bit of the countryside, and so after a bit of an exploration of some of the small towns up the coast, we pulled into the Roadhouse at Cattaby for a coffee, and this sign caught my eye.

I must be famous; I have my own road! :-)

Back from the West

2008-07-17T13:14:00.004+10:00

It's been a while since I last blogged, as I've been rather busy with essays etc (which are still plaguing me a bit, so this has to be brief too. More later, I promise.)

I have just returned from a fortnight in WA where the highlight was spending a week and a half in the Benedictine community of New Norcia. After spending a week there last year as part of one of my class units, I was determined to return again, so this was my return visit.

The timing was specifically to coincide with the Feast Day of St Benedict (11 July) not only because it's pretty cool to be in a Benedictine community on their special feast day, but also because a friend who I had met on my last visit was to be "monked" on this day.

Dom Glenn Swallow was clothed as a novice during my last visit, and on the Feast of St Benedict this year, he made his Simple Profession as a monk (ie committing himself to the monastery and monastic life for the next three years. After that, if it is evident to him and the community that God is calling him to this lifestyle as a permanent thing, he will then make his Solemn Profession, which is for life).

It was a great privilege to attend Dom Glenn's Profession, which was a ceremony performed as part of a special Mass, and as a friend of Glenn's I was asked to read one of the Scripture passages in the service. It was a very moving ceremony, and I'm very glad I was able to be there. As part of the ceremony, Glenn was dressed by the Abbot in the monastic hood and scapula that go over the tunic he had been wearing as a novice, as a sign of his profession and commitment. The picture shows him in his full monastic finery after the event.

Worth a thousand words

2008-06-28T18:16:00.003+10:00

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, but I reckon a warm, fuzzy hug is worth just as much when you're feeling cold and low. (although the way I'm feeling right now, I'm not sure whether I'd rather switch places with the man, or the cat in this pic! :-)

see more crazy cat pics

Does the reverse placebo effect work for technology?

2008-06-12T20:25:00.003+10:00

My internet service provider recently made me an offer that I couldn't refuse. Because of an upgrade to the local telephone exchange, my service can now support the shiny new ADSL2/2+ fast broadband. My ISP not only offered to upgrade my contract to ADSL2/2+ for the same contract price as my existing service, but they also sent me a shiny new router which would handle the ADSL2/2+ service, (for no charge!)

The sales drone also assured me that this would make my internet experience so much better, stronger, faster (we have the technology... we can rebuild it...*), but I have to say that after a day and a half of the new service, I haven't really noticed much of a difference.

I so want my connection to be better, stronger and faster, but it just doesn't seem to be. It's just like the placebo effect in reverse. Instead of seeing an effect where there isn't one, I am not seeing an effect where there should be one. I guess I'll just have to keep hoping that things will get noticeably faster.

* bonus points to anyone who actually gets that reference to a trashy 70s TV show!