Today I had two pastoral visits relating to 'funerals' (or more precisely, one was for a funeral and burial, and the other was for an interment of ashes, which will need to include elements of a funeral, given that the earlier 'memorial service' was apparently a little lacking in some elements of pastoral 'farewell' ritual).
The funeral service and burial are for a man who tragically took his own life, and his family and friends are still in shock, and trying to come to terms with not only the fact that he killed himself, but also the method he chose.
The interment of ashes is for a woman whose daughters don't get on with her (second) husband. I therefore spent over two hours today with the woman's brother and sister-in-law getting the gist of family politics, and working with them on a strategy to (hopefully) ensure that proceedings are beneficial and pastoral for all concerned, and to find a creative way for the daughters and husband to be involved in the ritual in appropriate ways, without anyone feeling sidelined or disenfranchised.
I think we managed to work something out, and now wait to see if the other parties agree to our suggestions.
I suspect that this might be one of the trickiest pastoral situations that I've had to deal with to date, but as always, am very grateful to God for the privilege of journeying with people in their grief and pain at such times, and pray that I might be able to help pour some oil on the troubled waters of these difficult relationships.
All of that, and I got to drive over 100km today, on a most magnificently sparkling spring day, in one of the most beautiful parts of the world! Have I mentioned recently how much I love my job? :-)
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