Sayin it with lerrv...

As Christians, we are called to 'speak the truth in love' (Eph. 4:16). So why are we so crap at it?

Over the years, in various forums, and especially on Facebook pages devoted to discussions among fellow Christians, I have seen many instances of full-on shellackings that are given out under the guise of 'speaking the truth in love' ("because I wouldn't be really loving you if I didn't correct your wrong doctrine, and show you the error of your ways, would I?"... you get the idea).

A friend and I used to joke about such things, when we saw these rabid interactions where brothers and sisters were ripping into each other quite energetically... "But at least, they're doing it with LOVE," we would say, "and that's what counts!"  It's really handy, because if you preface what you're going to say with some platitude about speaking the truth in love, like: "it pains me to say this, and it's not my intention to hurt you, but ..." you can effectively say just about anything, and the vitriol and venom doesn't count. How cool is that?! (and yes, I am being sarcastic here, in case you were wondering).

From the outset I have to say that I am just as guilty of doing this as anyone else (sorry to those of you who thought I was perfect ;-). And indeed, quite recently I unloaded both barrels at someone; entirely to meet my own needs for self protection and to vent my hurt and frustrations, without really focussing on what was best for the other person (but at least I was honest enough not to pretend I was 'saying it with love').

If you're expecting me to now come out with some great words of wisdom about what should happen, or how I intend to do better in the future, I'm sorry, but I will need to disappoint you. I don't pretend to have all the answers. Regular readers of this blog will hopefully have noticed that my writing here is one way I process things, so it's all a work in progress, rather than a fait accompli.

Maybe sometime later I'll be able to come back with some further ruminations... you'll have to wait and see.