Cancer and prayer

I've heard of many people who, when faced with a diagnosis of terminal cancer, pray for a miraculous healing. When I was working in pastoral care at Peter Mac Cancer Centre, I encountered a number of patients who had Christian faith, and were convinced that God would effect a miracle, and heal them of their cancer... it was all a matter of faith.

I've been thinking about my own prayerful response to Mum's diagnosis, and have realised that not once have I even considered praying for God to take the cancer away, or miraculously heal Mum, or prevent her from dying. 

Rather, my prayers have been more along the lines that Mum's death will not be a long, drawn out, agonising thing; that she will remain relatively pain-free and not suffer too much as her body fails;  that she will have no regrets, no missed opportunities. And most importantly, that she will know that she's loved- by me, by lots of other people, and by God.

Whilst I was devastated over and over again by the increasingly dire news: first that Mum had cancer, then that it was inoperable and thus a terminal condition, and then that the chemo was ineffective, so her death would come much sooner than we originally anticipated, it never occurred to me to not accept the reality that the cancer is going to kill her and she will die sooner than we ever expected.

Maybe I'm just a passive kind of person, content to let things happen around me; or maybe I don't have enough faith in the God of miracles, but I don't really see any point in praying for something that isn't likely to happen. (Or maybe I have just spent too much of my life in medical studies and research, that I can only see the medical model of things).

Whatever the reason, I am content that Mum and her life and illness are in God's hands, that God loves her and will do what's best for her. And that is enough for me.