The need to help

This week my thoughts are with a special friend.

S has lived with significant depression for many years now, and in the course of his illness has experienced just about every possible treatment, medication, and therapy modality for depression. He's had his ups and downs, and for a while was on a fairly even keel. However, in the last little while things have been gradually getting worse for him, and this week he commenced a regimen of ECT treatment (electro-convulsive therapy). It will take about three months before he's able to go back to work after the treatment.

Because I'm a natural born 'Rescuer', my default position is to want to do everything I can to 'help'. And in fact, it's not just that I want to help, but I need to help. (I suspect most people who work in one of the helping professions would probably resonate with this need). But the hard thing is that there is really nothing much I can do that would be helpful to S, apart from praying for him, and just being there for him (a bit like the friends of Job, who sat with him in silence).

When S initially told me about his depression (quite a number of years ago now), I discovered that my driving need to help can be a problem, because back then it caused me to make things more about me and my need to help rather than about S and his needs. I'd like to think that I am now older and wiser; that I learned something from that experience, which will equip me to be a better friend to S now, and also to others who are going through hard times.