Cancer is (still) a bastard

And now my attention turns to colleagues' wives and cancer.

Today I learned that the wife of a UCA ministry colleague in my home presbytery passed away yesterday. Loloma had been ill with leukaemia for some time, and finally succumbed. 

In addition to this, just before I left home to come to Sydney, I heard that Kate, the wife of my Anglican colleague, had discovered she had cancer, although at that stage it was uncertain how serious the prognosis was. Having heard this week from some folks back home, it seems that her prognosis is not good, and palliative care is likely to feature in her not too distant future. This woman is younger than I, and has three young children, the youngest of which would be about 12 months old now.

Since Mum got sick, after getting over the initial shock of her prognosis, she's been quite philosophical about the prospect of dying. She says that she has had a good and full life, and so for her to die a little earlier than expected is not such a tragedy, and there's no point sitting in a corner and crying. 

However, what made Mum really sad was when she was having chemotherapy, and would see others coming in for their treatment, many of whom were quite young: teenagers, young mums, and others who Mum thought should have their whole lives ahead of them, so it was unfair for them to be struck down by this bastard disease.

Whilst Loloma was an older woman (although not quite as old as Mum), with a grown up family, I think this is very true for Kate, who is still young, and has three little girls who will miss their mum.

Sometimes, in such circumstances, words fail. However, I think a friend was spot on when he sent me the following words about this kind of situation:

I remember when I was a chaplain in the Inter-Church Trade and Industry Mission (ITIM), my friend’s mother was dying and I asked Fr George Mainprize, of the Anglican Diocese of Newcastle, what appropriate words could I offer.

George said, “It’s a bastard of a thing.”

I said, “Yes it is a bastard not knowing what words are appropriate.“

He looked at me and said “They are the words.”