Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The pointy end of life

... and I thought the pointy end of the semester was bad enough!

Today my father died.

When I received the call on Sunday night from Mum to tell me that he was in hospital (again!), I had a strange sense that this time something was different... then when I received a further call from the ICU doctor on Monday morning to say that Dad's kidneys were failing and he was refusing dialysis (without which he wouldn't last more than 24 hours), I dropped everything and booked a flight to Sydney as soon as I could manage.

I arrived at the hospital in the late afternoon, and found that Mum had managed to convince Dad to have the dialysis, so he was alert and lucid and aware that I was there. Early this morning we had a call from the nurse to say that he had a good night, and was feeling better, and wanted her to let us know... but at 9:30 we received the summons to come in straight away, as he was sick.

He slipped from this life at 10am, just before Mum and I arrived at the hospital. We were greeted by the triage nurse and a doctor, who took is into the "Quiet Room", loaded us up with tissues, and explained what had happened, and what we could expect over the next little while. We then sat with Dad for a while; he looked so peaceful- finally at rest after many years of chronic illness and many hospital visits. (I used to joke with him that he had so many frequent flyer points with Concord Hospital that he could almost qualify to be an extra on All Saints*). Fortunately, I remembered to bring my camera with me from Melbourne, so I was able to take some last pictures of Dad, with both Mum and I bidding him a final farewell.

All of the hospital staff have been marvellous, both in the way they cared for Dad as a patient, and for Mum and me in our grief today. All of the nursing staff, the doctors and the social worker have gone out of their way to ensure that we understood what was going on (especially in the light of the involvement of the Coroner, which meant that we needed to hang around the hospital until 2pm, to meet with the police and formally identify the body), and that we were coping.

Throughout the past two days, as this has all unfolded, I have felt greatly loved and cared for by God, through the support of those around me: from the friend who came to drive me to the airport and held me steady as I sobbed on his shoulder, and my minister who rang to touch base and see how we were coping, and the theological college principal who also rang, and kept reassuring me that I am in the right place, and that being here is the most important thing right now, and the stuff that I've left behind in Melbourne (two weeks to the end of semester- assignments due, exams coming up etc) will all be sorted out when I get back.

I probably should stop now and go to bed (although I don't know that I'll sleep much)... but there's a funeral to plan and a whole lot of other stuff to do tomorrow, so I suppose I should at least make an effort to close my red, puffy eyes).

* for those unfamiliar with pop culture, Concord Hospital is the site used for the location shots for All Saints TV show

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Caro, so sad to hear that your dad died. Your in my prayers & thoughts.

Lots of love;

Joshy

SB said...

Dear Caro,

So sorry to hear the news - BB and I have been praying for you and your mum and you'll continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

God be with you.
Love
Sandy