Liturgy for the Scattering of Ashes

This is the liturgy I used for the ritual when we scattered Dad's ashes.

Ceremony for the Scattering of Ashes
4th April 2008

We Are Here

Neville always said that he didn’t want a fancy funeral, but wanted to meet his end floating down the creek in a cardboard box. This ritual today is our way of honouring his wish as best we can.

We are here because this is a special place for us,
a place which will always carry for us memories of Neville,
the one we loved. Let us remember him.
(a silence is kept as people remember, or brief memories about the place and its connection with Neville are shared)

Today we will make this a place which will always be sacred for us
because it holds the ashes of our family member and friend.
This will be part of our farewell
and a sign of the setting free of Neville to leave us,
and enter into his next journey,
whatever that may be.

Scattering the Ashes

Let us look at the beauty of this place
which will today receive Neville’s ashes.
It waits to receive them as a gift for its future life.
It will be the joining of this one life with the life of the universe.
We will scatter these ashes as those
who are now prepared to let Neville go
even as we still grieve.

Before we do that, let us pray:
Loving God, today our minds are filled with memories of Neville.
So much of the life we shared together has come flooding back,
and the pain of separation is reawakened.
On this day, his birthday, when the feeling of loss is so acute,
may our sense of your loving care be very strong.
We thank you that the shared experiences that grew out of our life with
Neville are still enriching our relationships with others,
and pray that this simple ceremony will help us all
on our own journeys of grieving and healing.

Amen

The Scattering

We will scatter these ashes
as those who are now prepared to let Neville go,
even as we grieve.
We will let him go, so that he will return to us in a new way;
as gentle memory… as unexpected presence…
as love and laughter in many forms.
(a silence is kept)

We will now scatter these ashes
and send Neville on the great journey into universal life,
life which is as free as these ashes floating in the air,
one with the turbulent waters of the creek, and as light as sunshine.
We now send Neville into life
which is as strong as our hopes
and as lively and as wide as the sea.

Our love gathers around these ashes as they go,
not because they could ever hold the whole being of Neville,
whose life and spirit
could never be contained in a few small ashes,
but because they are small echoes of the one we have loved
and go on loving.

I now invite you all to take a handfull of ashes and scatter them
into the creek and over the surrounding bush.
(the ashes are scattered. After everyone has scattered a handfull, Isobel scatters the remaining ashes to empty the container)

Travel safely and well, Neville.
We will follow you with the flowers that you loved so much,
to go with you on your way
and in celebration of our love for you
and who you will always be for us.
(orchids are thrown into the creek, after which people move up to the garage workshop)

The Sending Out

From now on, when we see this plaque in this place,
may it be a reminder to us of this ceremony,
and the sacredness of this place,
and the creek where we scattered Neville's ashes.

May the gentle rain visit this place with its greening of life,
may the winds of freedom move in delight among the trees around it
and connect its breathing and growing with the spirit of Neville.
May the sun on the water be bright with hopes for all that is to come
and the calm moon cherish all life with gentleness.
May the waters of the creek flow along their course
with love every day,
just as we have loved our husband, father and friend,
and as he has loved us.

Let us go in peace.


(Based on a liturgy in Rituals for Life, Love & Loss by Dorothy McRae-McMahon.
Prayer adapted from Uniting In Worship)