Saturday, August 25, 2012

Death sneaks up...

As I travel with Mum on her journey through cancer towards the end of her life, it has started to feel like this path resembles a multi-lane highway, in which some lanes are for slower vehicles, and others are deemed 'the fast lane'.

Today I had lunch with a close friend who discovered quite recently that her father is dying from cancer, and has only a few weeks left to live. When she left his hospital bedside today, she said he's stopped eating, and at least one of his bodily systems seems to have shut down. The family is still in shock, and trying to process what's happening, and prepare to support each other through the days and weeks to come.

We had a good conversation over lunch, we both shed a few tears, and talked about how things are going for each of us. I'd like to think that because I'm past the initial shock of Mum's diagnosis and prognosis, I have something to offer my friend, as someone who has experienced something similar to what she's now going through, so has an idea of how things are for her. But because things are a little further down the track for me, I'm together enough (well, kind of) to offer some quiet support to her.

In talking to this particular friend about her father's illness, it's apparent that her father will most probably die before Mum does, and so it felt a little bit like Mum and I are in the 'slower lane', whilst my friend and her father and family are in the 'fast lane' in coming to terms with the approaching death in the family.

Then tonight, another friend and colleague, who was in some classes with me at theological college, announced on Facebook that his wife passed away quietly in her sleep today, leaving him and his young daughter alone. So much for the 'fast lane'- for him it's more like the 'super-fast autobahn lane'.

There has been, and I'm sure will continue to be, an outpouring of love and support, and shock at the news as his friends respond to his announcement on Facebook. And I'm sure that there will be lots of practical support for him from friends and colleagues who are closer geographically to him than I am.

I was talking to someone this afternoon about how we never can really know what's around the corner; what God might have in store for us, or what life will dish out. That's certainly true for these dear friends and their families (and for me too).

I wish I could do more to support them at this very difficult time, but have to be satisfied with surrounding them with prayers and love from a distance.

Travel gently my dear ones, knowing that God goes with you through all the pain and darkness.

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