The importance of intimacy

We all need at least one person in our lives who tells us we are amazing on a regular basis. I am blessed to have at least 3-4 such people in my life.

I don't mean this in a vain or sycophantic way, but I think that to have someone who knows me deeply, who has travelled with me when I have been through hard times, who knows my weaknesses and my strengths, and sees my blindspots (the bits that I don't see) and is willing to give me honest, loving (and sometimes brutal) feedback- that is truly a gift from God.

My friend Mike, who lives in Tasmania, is one such person. I have known him since I was about 18 ("only a few years then," I hear some of you say! :-) and he is an incredibly perceptive person. We worked together for a while when I was in Sydney (he was my boss) and we have kept in touch over the years.

Something that I have struggled with over the years has been my self concept, or self esteem (I know... boring... everyone seems to have issues of this kind!), and I remember one conversation I had with Mike a few years ago... I reported to him something that someone else had said to me : a compliment about some aspect of my character... and his response was, "and do you believe that yet?"

I was reminded of this incident recently, when I observed the need for me to say the same kind of thing to someone else. My friend Mike happened to be in town, and staying at my place, so I decided to invite some of my newer Melbourne friends around for a dinner party, so it was a 'new friends meet old' kind of thing.

After the dinner party, Mike made some positive comments to me about one of my new friends, and I reported this positive feedback to said new friend the next day. He seemed kind of embarrassed, and muttered something like "obviously doesn't know me very well".

It occurred to me that this friend may need someone to challenge him with the question: "When people say nice things to/about you, do you actually believe them?"- in the same way that Mike did to me some years ago. (I suspect this may need to be my primary task next time I share a bottle of red with said friend).

As I said before, I feel very blessed to have a number of close friends who I know I can trust, who know me and love me, warts and all. This has helped me immensely in my journey to actually believe that I am a child of God, and loved and lovable.

I think the time has come and God is calling me to be that kind of friend to others, to love them and give them loving feedback and encouragement as they are also on this journey.