Monday, September 10, 2012

Fading slowly away

In the last little while Mum has had found it difficult to eat anything much. Her appetite is quite measly, and sometimes we resort to a mug of Sustagen instead of a meal, because she just doesn't feel like eating anything (and thankfully, she quite enjoys vanilla Sustagen).

She is also still losing weight. The Mum I see before me now is 'the real Mum' to me, although people who have only really known her in the past ten years or so (since she gave up smoking and put on a lot of weight) are quite shocked at how thin she is now. However, even this image of Mum is starting to fade away a bit as she continues to shrink before my eyes, and become weaker and more tired. (A few weeks ago we bought her some new slacks, and one pair, size 12, were a little bit tight the first time she wore them. On Friday, Mum wore those same slacks, and had to wear a belt with them- and make a new hole in the belt as it wasn't tight enough.)

In addition to the weight loss, Mum is also starting to decrease in strength. The other day, she had trouble lifting the garage roll-a-door, and is starting to find it hard to lift dinner plates and bowls, to put them away in the cupboard over the bench.

As I watch Mum gradually shrinking and growing physically weaker before my eyes, it has occurred to me that maybe it won't be the cancer that kills her, but rather she will just waste away.

2 comments:

Evan said...

I hope you have some good support Caro.

My parents are fading but likely have a couple of years or so in them yet. So I'm not confronting this stuff as immediately as you.

Caro said...

Thanks Evan, yes, I have some great support; from friends, colleagues, family and also formal medical/nursing/palliative care and support agencies. And the local church where I'm worshipping in Sydney has also been great; the people there are lovely and very supportive.

I am feeling truly blessed to be in this position (as sad as it is), and grateful to be able to spend this precious time with Mum.